MickeyMFan

Love is in the air

2012-01-16T21:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm slightly obsessed, and Louis says he wants his fiance back. However, my obsession has yielded great results! We are getting married this summer on 7/11 in Las Vegas and then honeymooning in Carmen del Playa! I'm uber-excited!!!! The wedding is booked. The wedding night is booked. The honeymoon is booked, with the exception of our return tickets. As of right now, we are stranded in Cancun until Louis gets his passport number, but he's working on that (I hope!).

Now I'm using the Internet to research the fun stuff--what song do we want to dance to for our first dance? What wedding dress will I wear? (I refuse to actually go shopping until I'm down at least 25 pounds. What kind of veil will I wear? (I'm leaning towards a vintage birdcage veil...maybe in red?) What will my hair look like, and if I get it done the day before here, will it last overnight and on the airplane? I have pictures saved of wedding stuff that I have found online and really like, but I don't want to post any just in case Louis gets on here. I don't want him to see anything before it's time. :)

Here's what I can share:

Our wedding night--

Our honeymoon--

Now you see why I can't wait for July to get here? And this is even after my Europe trip. Um...I've got some saving up to do! :)

I'm engaged!

2011-12-16T22:40:00.001-06:00

Louis proposed, and I said yes!! I'm engaged!!! Just wanted to say...

Princess

2011-11-02T21:17:00.000-05:00

Louis and I have a new addition to our happy little family, a kitten we affectionately named Princess Samantha Snowpaw von Fluffykins. She is the cutest little kitten, but like any family pet, she is getting bigger and braver every day. Sammy, as we call now call her, has moved from being just a basement kitty to enjoying the evenings with us upstairs. We still don't trust Soze and her to be together during the day for a couple of reasons. 1) Sammy could figure out the doggy door at any time and be gone. At least when we are home, we can keep an eye out and see where she goes. 2) Even though Soze has never hurt Sammy, I don't trust her. Soze likes to "chase" Sammy and be near here every chance she gets. Sammy is learning to swat at Soze when she gets too close. I find it slightly amusing that this big Black Lab seems to be intimidated by this 2 pound kitten, but I figure they will learn to love each other. At least I hope this is the case. Isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen?

Time is flying by. I wish I could catch my breath.

2011-09-25T12:34:00.000-05:00

We've been in school now for six weeks, and I cannot seem to get in gear. I'm in my new school, full of new ideas, students, changes, requests, requirements, and the like, and I have to be honest when I say that it's harder than I thought it would be. I love the new school and the teachers I work with on a daily basis, even if they aren't like the ones I left behind, but this is definitely the toughest job I've ever had. The students are somewhat different, but the rigor and class requirements are keeping me on my toes. Thursdays have become my late nights at school, working to prepare for the next week. Saturdays and Sundays have become just two more days to prepare and grade papers. It seems I spend more time at home working on the weekends than I do during the day just trying to keep up. Don't get me wrong--I'm enjoying the job as well. I just keep telling myself that it will all get better with time. Once I've prepped this year, I can make changes accordingly next year, and time won't be such a factor anymore. On the plus side, I am loving the drive time change. Instead of taking me 30 minutes to get to and from work, now it takes me 5 minutes! I've given myself the gift of time. :)

That's all for now. I don't want to appear as if I'm complaining. I just want to get some loads off my shoulders. Some days this is what I feel like:

St. Louis Getaway

2011-07-11T20:06:00.000-05:00

For our first vacation together, Louis and I chose a simple and free/cheap trip to St. Louis. We chose things that we could do fun and just enjoy our time together. The zoo was first. One of my favorite things about the zoo is that it's FREE! We had to pay $3.00 to feed the stingrays, but other than that, it was free. Kansas City zoo--take note! My other favorite thing about the zoo is that I have an unlimited photography audience. The animals don't care that I'm taking their pictures, and so I go crazy! I think I took 15 pictures of the gorilla above just to get the perfect shot, but it's my second favorite from the day. (The first is below later on...)

These tigers were just hanging out together in the shade and all of a sudden, this one puts his leg around around the other. Several of us gave a collective "Awwww..." when he did that. :)

This turtle picture is my favorite from the day. Several ginormous turtles were gathered by the fence where we were standing, and this one took this opportunity to stick his head out and say hello. So I did the only natural thing I could do--I took his picture!

After the zoo, we drove over to a Putt-Putt and batting cage place. I'd like to say I beat Louis in both sports, but sadly, the answer is no. I did beat him by a few strokes--maybe 3?--in Putt-Putt, but the batting cage got the best of me. Not only did Louis hit way more than I did, the balls actually tried to kill me!

Don't laugh at my form here. I was too scared to get any closer to the base. I was too far at one point, and Louis gave me this great advice of stepping up to the plate. Apparently I stepped too close because the next ball hit me on my left knuckles and left a baseball size goose-egg on my hand. Ouch!

Our biggest expense for the weekend was the Cardinals' game, and our seats were WAY UP at the top--second row from the top to be exact. Our seats were great, though, and we had a blast! This was Louis's introduction to the best team in the country, and I know we will be back for more.

The view from our seats.

I love this picture and will probably end up framing this one! :)

Pujols ran in for a homerun, and then in the next inning, he was hit and taken out of the game. It was unfortunate, but I love his spirit. He knows it's just a part of the game.

Cardinals win and we enjoy the scenery. I may have this picture framed too! :)

Okay, I feel the need to explain these pictures. As part of Louis's souvenirs from the zoo, he picked some actual crickets and mealworms for snacks. Yes, you can eat these, and yes, we have. We only tried one mealworm each, and it just seemed to disintegrate in my mouth. Kind of dusty and no real texture (my biggest hangup on food), but I just had it in the back of my mind what it was. At least I can say I've eaten a worm now. Maybe one day we'll try a cricket, but for now, they are on display in our china cabinet.

May = New beginnings

2011-07-11T15:25:00.000-05:00

May usually means the end of something--the end of a school year, the end of spring, etc. This year's May, however, brought a something new to my life--Louis! After dating since October and spending time together every weekend, it was time. I know it may be "frowned upon" by some people, but I always knew I would want to live with him before we ever got truly, truly serious, especially after my divorce. I don't want to marry someone and not have any clue how to get along with him residing in the same house. It's a different relationship under the same roof than it is just seeing someone a couple days a week. So far, so good!!! We are taking our relationship one day at a time, being open and honest with each other, and just having a good time together. He loves Soze, and she LOVES Louis!

When Louis moved in, he took over the old office room and turned it into his den, or Man-Cave. This is his spot to play video games, work on his guns and knives, etc. Just be a man. To keep my space, I took everything downstairs and created a little library down in the basement corner. I think it turned out fabulously!

I still want to buy some kind of picture to hang over the electrical box. It's just too ugly to stick out on the wall by itself.

Louis had both fish and a cat at his old place but let his cat stay with his parents. He also had a problem moving his fish, so we just started over with new ones! I chose four of them--two Mickey Mouse Platies (hmmm...I wonder why) and two Black Mollies. Louis picked out three little bitty ones, but I don't really know what they are called. I do know all the fish are really good eaters and will come to the top when it's breakfast or dinner time.

Celebrating my birthday with Princess Diana!

2011-07-11T15:06:00.000-05:00

Mom came up for my birthday weekend at the end of April, and we drove downtown to see the Princess Diana exhibit presented at Union Station. The Diana Foundation did an extraordinary job displaying her personal effects and giving those of us who never got the chance to meet her a little glimpse into her life.

My nutritious lunch at Union Station consisted of Diet Coke and a Rice Krispie treat.

Since we weren't able to take pictures at the actual exhibit (I don't blame them...), I bought a book and took pictures from that. Of course I'll have to scrapbook those! :)

This trip to the exhibit was the week before William and Kate were married, and everyone was buzzing about their upcoming wedding. It was very cool to be able to see Diana's actual wedding dress and think of what Kate's might look like in comparison.

The most emotional part of the day was seeing and hearing moments of Diana's funeral. Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" song played over and over as we read Diana's brother's memorial to her. Needless to say, I was not the only one in tears that day!

Mom took Louis and me out to lunch at my favorite birthday spot--the Cheesecake Factory at the Plaza. Since it was Easter Sunday, everyone was dressed in their Sunday best. Unfortunately, I had just bought new shoes to wear with my new dress, and the shoes didn't fit. I had to settle for my silver flip-flops instead. :/

This is the best of best--our cheesecake desserts! Mom ordered her usual Strawberry cheesecake, Louis ordered a double or triple Chocolate, and I tried something new--Red Velvet/White Chocolate cheesecake. It was super duper rich, but it was soooooo worth it!

Summer vacation is finally here!

2011-07-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I haven't blogged since April, but the end of the school year usually wipes me out. Then summer school started with no days of space in between, and some other stuff came about, and now I can finally breathe again. So, here's a rundown of my life since April:

*School ended. Summer school began.
*Louis moved in with me.
*We became parents to fish.
*We traveled to St. Louis for a weekend getaway.
*Summer school ended and I had to pack 11 years of teaching and bring it all home.
*Louis and I became parents to a 2-month-old kitten. Soze has no idea she is even in the house.

That's about it. I want to blog about some specifics, so I'll do that next. It's hard to concentrate though when the pool is calling my name, along with the new kitty, bookshelves that need to be put together, and my need to just veg and sit in my chair.

Change of scenery

2011-04-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

"Change brings opportunity. "
Nido Qubein

This is the sentiment I'm taking with me next year when I begin my new teaching position at Lee's Summit West High School as a Reading and English teacher. While this last week has had complete ups and downs emotionally, I feel as if this move is for the best for my career. Countless people, including administrators, have told me that I will never be a full-time Reading teacher here in this district. They just don't have the resources. I know all districts are strapped for money, but Lee's Summit has stepped up and said that they don't want their students falling through the cracks due to their reading abilities. This is what I went to school for, and I'm so happy that I will have this opportunity. I absolutely HATE the idea of leaving my kids and friends that I've met, but I know kids are kids and will be great at my new school. I also know that I will make new friends and meet up my current friends for some much-needed happy hours and get-togethers. :)

A new school means a new school mascot, colors, clothes, etc. I do love these colors!

On one note, I will usher out this year as a Bear and will come in to the new school year as a Titan. This also means I will have to move...again. Hmmm...this will be my 9th classroom in 12 years. I should probably be a master at classroom moving by now, but it never gets old. I guess I will have to just have my summer school kids help me at the end. Maybe I'll offer them extra credit!! :)

Thanks for all your "good luck"s and "go get 'em"s! I needed it, and I did!

Thanks!!

Decisions, decisions

2011-04-06T18:32:00.000-05:00

Oh me, oh my. Why do I have to make these tough decisions? I wish I had a magic Genie (is that a proper name?) who would tell me exactly what would happen if I made the right or wrong choice. My dilemma is this: a new job. A new job. My possible dream job? Lee's Summit West High School, the school roughly 3-5 minutes from my house, has a high school Reading position posted for next year. What do I do????? I absolutely LOVE my building. I LOVE my kids. I LOVE my friends. I LOVE the fact that I will be going to Europe in June 2012 on a school trip (more details on that one later if it pans out). I LOVE my job as an English II and III teacher. I LOVE my leadership position on the Instructional Leadership Team. I LOVE the opportunity to be the Assistant Speech/Debate Coach, which comes with a stipend. I LOVE the opportunity to teach Night School and Summer School, both of which come with extra paychecks. (For what it's worth, I would take about a $4000 pay cut once all my "extras" are taken away by moving schools.) When I look at all of these things, I can't imagine that I would leave the comfort of what I've known over the past 3 years, but I also know Lee's Summit is a great school district, my drive would cut down from 50 minutes a day to 10 tops, and being a Reading teacher is what I went to school for. It's what I was hoping to eventually be at my current school, but that opportunity has never come.

Help me! I don't want to apply for the position and interview just to say, "No thanks anyway." I need to know that this is truly what I want for myself before I put myself through the trouble and agony of starting all over again. Hmmm....

Time to celebrate!

2011-03-19T22:11:00.000-05:00

Ha ha! Okay, now that it's official, I can declare my news to the world. Yes, I have a boyfriend! He's the same guy I've been dating on/off since October, but now we are "officially" a couple. Louis made it official on Valentine's Day at Cinzetti's, a local Italian restaurant here in KC. He took me there and asked if I would be his girlfriend as if we were back in the 5th grade. :) It was too cute! I was half expecting a note with a box to check "yes" or "no," but instead he took my hand and asked me over a plate of fettuccine alfredo and breadsticks. He's becoming my new best friend, someone to whom I can tell just about anything, and someone who makes me laugh everyday.

Louis is not my typical type (redundant, I know...), but there's something about him that makes me think "what if...?" He's not into sports really, but he's willing to go to some games with me--Chiefs, Royals, Cardinals, and high school basketball. He's more of a cat lover, but he takes up time with Soze and loves on her. He's a pipe smoker, but he's quit smoking cigarettes since I met him. :) Louis is also more of a guy's guy--loves a good Scotch on the rocks, owns quite a collection of guns and knives, and is even teaching me how to shoot! You never know what the future holds, but I'm holding onto Louis for now and am planning on just enjoying what life brings us as we have fun together.

Louis blowing out his birthday cookie candles

He LOVED the "Gandalf"-type pipe I got him for his birthday

My first time shooting--my targets are left and bottom. Not bad, huh?

Me shooting for the first time

I do love that Louis will go see shows with me. This is us just after seeing "Maybe Baby, It's You". We go see "No Way to Treat a Lady" tomorrow!

2010 Scrapbooking times

2011-02-27T14:06:00.000-06:00

I finally finished my 2010 scrapbook and wanted to share these pages with you. Here ya go!

New Year's Eve

Disney on Ice

Train concert

Sarah and Amy's dual baby shower

Legally Blonde on Broadway in St. Louis

My birthday weekend with Arturo and Mom

Chicago Road Trip

Royals/Cardinals game

Shakespeare in the Park to see King Richard III

Girls' Day Out before Michael Buble!!

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee show

Summer pics

Minneapolis Road Trip

Royals game in the Diamond Club

Michelle's Chippendale Birthday Bash

Carrie Underwood concert with Louis

Chiefs Game with friends

Branson and Clay Cooper with Mom

Christmas 2010

New Year's Eve with Louis at Tim and Paul's place

Coming soon...

2011-02-14T12:59:00.000-06:00

Wow! I did not realize that I have not updated this blog since January 3rd, but I have been busy--with a new guy friend (not a "boyfriend"--at least not yet...) and scrapbooking until my heart's content. My plan is to post scrapbook pics here shortly. I have scrapped all of 2010 now, mostly within the last few weeks between Christmas break and our EIGHT snow days! Plus I have a student teacher working with me, so I don't feel nearly as tired and stressed out at the end of the day. Who knew that I could go home and actually be productive? Ha ha! It works!

Be on the lookout for scrapbook pics coming soon...

New Year, High Hopes

2011-01-03T20:43:00.000-06:00

So my high hopes of blogging a BUNCH over Christmas break didn't happen, but I'm taking time tonight before the craziness of being back at school every day hits me full in the face tomorrow. I'm not really sure if my life holds any "new" thoughts worth blogging about, but the point is to write about everyday moments, especially now that the new year has rolled on through, and I am ready to face 2011 head-on. :)

Stealing a piece from my dear friend Kodi's blog, I thought this would be a great way to start my first blog of 2011 and reminisce about how the end of 2010 treated me (quite well...)

Outside my window...is darkness. Now that winter is in full force, and I worked out to both Zumba (a new favorite) and Yoga (an oldie but goodie), it's dark by the time I come home. Of course, since it is the new year, I re-committing myself to working out like I did a year ago. Being at the gym 3 days a week--Zumba/Yoga on Mondays, cardio/weights on Wednesdays, and Pilates on Thursdays. My body hurts just thinking about this schedule... :)

I am learning...not to stress over things out of my control. I can't control what other people think and how they feel about me. I can only control my thoughts and feelings and how I react to others.

I am thinking...I need to pay off other bills before I consider buying a new car. I had my heart set on getting something new this spring, since my car is over 10 years old now, but my little Focus is still a great car. Now I'm planning on putting that money each month toward my new WINDOWS! I LOVE LOVE LOVE them! I still haven't found shades or curtains, but going from 20-year-old single pane windows to double pane surely will make a difference at home.

I am thankful for...my job and friends in my life. I feel truly blessed to be able to work in a career that gives me time to rejuvenate myself at Christmas and over the summer, and be able to spend that time with caring friends.

From the kitchen...nothing tonight. For New Year's, I'm also re-dedicating my food life to Weight Watchers. I started way back 12 weeks ago, but between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I pretty much let myself eat whatever I wanted. Now I know I can't do that, or I will balloon back the 40+ pounds I've lost the last two years. Now I'm back on it, charting my points and eating better. So tonight was Subway after workout. :)

I am wearing...my workout clothes from Zumba and Yoga.

I am reading...nothing yet, but I have a gift card from Border's that is eating a hole in my purse. I'm hoping to pick up a Hungry Girl book, plus something fun to read!

I am hoping...that SOMEONE will come to his senses and realize that I am a great catch! This particular someone has been around my life since October or so, but our relationship has grown very slowly. He has been hurt in the past, and understandingly, wants to make sure of what he wants before moving forward. I totally get that, but I'm the one standing on the outside waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

I am creating...more scrapbooks! I finally found a groove over Christmas break and knocked out this April-July 2010. I still have more to go to be caught up, but at least I know I'm not too far behind. I also still have plans to create a scrapbook in memory of my dad.

I am praying...that I will have the strength to keep up my idea of eating healthy and working out. I don't want to call them resolutions because those always get broken. This is just me...knowing I have to do something for me.

Around the house...is much more organized. Part of my break was spent going from room to room, organizing closets and stuff. I didn't finish everything, but it looks and feels so much better!

One of my favorite things...is my new iPhone!! I can't believe I was questioning caving into one, but I love it and live on it!!

A few plans for tomorrow...back to school for day one of the new semester, and GIRLS' NIGHT with my Overland Park buds for dinner and Biggest Loser. :)

I am going...to keep my promises to myself. Enjoy life, be happy, and not stress.

I am hearing...Soze chewing on her new bone from Santa and the Bachelor Brad Womack give away the first impression rose. I know I watch too much Reality TV, but I can't help it!!!

Sharing a picture...Oh Tim, don't kill me for posting this, but this picture just says how much fun I've had this year at school. For "Celebrity Couple" day, my very dear friend Tim and I went as...can you guess???? You got it--Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. See my two babies? The kids thought we were hysterical, and I have to admit, we did rock out the best couple that day!

Go C-H-I-E-F-S!!

2010-11-04T19:58:00.000-05:00

Some friends and I took advantage of the discount Chiefs tickets from our school district, and by advantage, I mean CHEAP! Our tickets were originally roughly $100 seats, and we paid $27!! Can’t beat that! We sat in the corner right off where the Chiefs run out of the tunnel. Even though our seats were great, Lindsay and Michelle and I spent most of our time patrolling for boys. :)

We all met up at Tim and Paul’s place to start our tailgate early. I can honestly say that I’ve never drank that early in the morning, but there’s a first time for everything I guess. Sonic made the tailgate that much easier by offering 99 cent slushies. Just add a little vodka, and we were good to go.

As we were having our own tailgate, Lindsay made some new friends (as always…) and asked them to take our picture. I’m sure they were thrilled.

Michelle, Paul, and Cathy couldn’t wait to get into the new and improved stadium.

Lindsay just had to jump in and be a part of the show—our school Principal and Assistant Superintendent grilled out for the district. They knew we had been having a “good time” before we ever arrived to this particular tailgate.

I have no idea how this picture turned out, but I like it.

I figured since I was at the Chief’s game, I should take some pictures of the actual game. Here they are:

We are all going again this month, and I’m just hoping our seats are this good or even better. It won’t matter as long as we are having a blast together!

Empty regrets

2010-10-20T15:01:00.000-05:00

I received some news last night, and I'm still trying to process it all. It's not bad news...actually, it is good news for those involved, but my brain and heart are having a hard time getting over the shock to the system. Todd, my ex-husband, is getting married in a month. This means, to me, a few things.
1) I am very happy for him. He found someone he loves, and I can't deny how good that feels. I want him to ultimately be happy. I saw a picture of the two of them together, and it did look like they truly were in love. Congrats to them! :)

2) When I think back to our last phone conversation (short, to the point) back in August after I had broken off the relationship with Arturo, I asked Todd about the dating world. In fact, I asked him, "Are you seeing anyone right now? How's dating life treating you?" His response was something like, "I'm not seeing anyone...I'm not sure how I will handle that in time." Hmmm...if they met 6 months or so ago, then that means he did not tell me the truth. There was no reason for him to lie, so what's the point? We had both moved on obviously, why lie about it?

3) This is the hardest part for me to wrap myself around. When I found out that Todd's fiance had a son, my first thought was Great! He will be such a good dad to that little boy! Then I started thinking...Todd's finally getting the family he always wanted. A wife and a son. Something I couldn't give him. This is the part that tears me up even now. I have moved on with my life. My heart has moved on from Todd. We are not the same people we were when we were married so long ago, and I don't want that old life back, but when I think about the baby issue...this is where we struggled for so long. We tried for 8+ years to get pregnant. I couldn't do it. Now he has found THE ONE for him with a ready-made family.

Does this make me sound horrible? I do wish them nothing but the best and even texted Todd to tell him congrats. Never heard back...

Oh, well. I've moved on but felt the need to get this out of my system. The best part of having this blog is that it doesn't show judgement. :)

Carrie Underwood...she can SING!!

2010-10-17T20:12:00.000-05:00

Last night I experienced the Carrie Underwood show. Wow...that's really all I can say. She can sing and sing and sing. I think Carrie did a better job last night live than I have ever heard her on television. Wow...

Carrie's first opening act was a group called "Sons of Sylvia." They are a brother group (reminded me of a country Jonas Brothers :)) who won a little TV show back a couple of years ago. It was supposed to be an American Idol for groups, but apparently, it never picked up. The boys, however, could rock!

Billy Currington was the second opening act, and although I had seen him before (he opened for Sugarland last year), he put on a good show too. He sang his most popular hits--"People are Crazy", "Good Directions", and "Pretty Good at Drinking Beer". Plus he performed a couple of his newest hits from his latest album. I may have to look those up!

Finally, Carrie Underwood came out. She popped up out of the floor, of course, singing and dancing on a seat. She opened with "Cowboy Casanova" and "Quitter".

Carrie was also entertaining the audience with her stories. She talked a little about her road to American Idol and how her life changed after the show.

Carrie also sang "Some Hearts", "Wasted", and "All-American Girl". I believe she also changed 5 or 6 times throughout the concert!

Probably the best moment of the show was her performance of "Jesus Take the Wheel". In the middle of the song, she stopped and started singing "How Great Thou Art." Looking back now, I wish that had been the song I'd recorded, but it was just so good. She gave me chills and definitely brough the house down with that song. Everyone cheered and whistled after that performance!

During the songs "Country Roads" (a John Denver cover) and "This Time", Carrie rode around on the back of a blue pickup. This was her time to get closer to the people like me--us in the back and sides who want a better view.

Carrie also brought the Grand Ole Opry from Nashville here to KC. She sang the duet "I Told You So" with video images of Randy Travis. That was a pretty cool moment, not only because I like that song, but how their two voices sounded together, even with just video recording of Randy Travis.

Carrie ended the show with two great ones--"Mama's Song" and "Last Name". During "Mama's Song", pictures of her wedding flashed on the screen behind her. I couldn't see them very well since I was sitting off to the side, but I knew that's what they were. Then Carrie encouraged all of us to sing along to "Last Name", and of course, I did! :)

Carrie came back to sing two songs during her encore--"Before He Cheats" (another one I sang every word!) and "Songs Like This".

This is Louis, my date for the evening. We are taking it slow and seeing where things go. I like him and think he is sweet. He is also really good with Soze, so he just earned double bonus points with me! :)

Driving me CRAZY!

2010-08-25T07:25:00.000-05:00

I have no earthly idea how to get through to this woman. My mother crossed the line last night, and I literally don't know what to do about it. Screaming to her on the phone probably didn't help, but I was so upset over her actions that I couldn't think of anything else. I don't get angry very often, but I'd had it last night.

My mother has always been worried about me, that something bad will happen--getting kidnapped and raped/murdered, getting into a car accident and laying dead in a ditch somewhere along the road, etc. These are things she has NO control over. Mom usually calls me everyday, multiple times a day, and I don't know how to tell her to STOP. STOP. STOP. I've tried telling her, and it does no good.

Last night I went out with two friends for dinner and to see "Eat, Pray, Love." (Loved it by the way...) Apparently Mom called at 5 pm (eating dinner), then SIX--SIX--SIX MORE TIMES until she finally reached me in the theater restroom after the movie at 10:08 pm. She was completely over the top, worried, wondering where I was, etc. Mom even knew I was going to see a movie, but in her little world, the move would have been over by then. The kicker though????? She had left a message on my friend's cell phone, wondering where I was. How did she get my friend's cell phone number you ask? MOM CALLED MY EX-HUSBAND'S PARENTS AND GOT IT FROM THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! My EX-HUSBAND!?!?!?!?! I FREAKED out. I have NO IDEA what to do anymore. I REFUSE to call her every time I blink or take in a breath to let her know that I am still alive.

Somebody please help. Give me something. I love my mother dearly, as she probably really is my best friend, but this is NOT NORMAL. What can I do????

Need a new title

2010-08-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

Since I've been at school this week, I haven't had time to sit down and write a new blog. Not that I have anything new or exciting to say, but I did want to write something just so I don't have to see my previous title of "Broken hearted" every time I log in. While I hope Arturo the best, and we have talked since the breakup about remaining friends, I just don't need to see the news flash constantly reminding me of one of the hardest decisions of my life thus far. I'm moving on, and I know he is too.

My classroom is finally beginning to take shape. Because I'm in the luxury trailer, the carpets weren't shampooed until this week, so I wasn't able to work at all until today. TODAY!?! School begins Wednesday, and I still have nothing ready to go. Due to back to school convocation and freshmen orientation on Monday, Tuesday will be it for me. The thought of only having one day to finish my room, laminate signs for this year, prepare for the beginning, make copies, and generally get my head back in the "real world" scares me a little, but I know Wednesday will come and go whether or not I'm prepared. That thought doesn't really help me either. :)

Broken hearted

2010-08-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

How do you get over someone when you were the one who broke his heart? I have the constant urge to call him because I have talked to him every day for the past 5 1/2 months. How do you quit someone cold turkey? Apparently I'm not very good at it because I think of Arturo every day and pretty much every moment of every day. I would have spent the rest of my life with Arturo, and spent it happily, would it not have been for this one deal-breaker. It was something I just can't get past, no matter how much love is in my heart. I know it hurts both of us now, but I also know time will heal our wounds. Since there's no speeding up time, I have to deal with my pain the only way I know how--by sharing it and getting it out of my system.

Did I feel this badly when Joon and I parted ways? I knew then that there was nothing I could do to salvalge that relationship, but this one was all on me--it was my idea to end us. I was something I had wrestled with for a month or so until it festered in my mind and I had to make a final decision. No more wishy-washy. Now I have to live with my choice and know I hurt more than just me and him in the process.

Fight the temptation to call. Fight the temptation to call him and ask him to take me back. Fight the temptation to just say that I can ignore the deal-breaker and live the rest of my life always questioning and worrying about us. I cannot do that to myself or Arturo, or one day wake up and regret the life I chose. I know that about me, and I just can't live my life that way. I wish I could because it would be the easy way out now, but I'm trying to look ahead for my future. Call me selfish, but this is what I have to do for me. Sorry for me. So incredibly sorry for you.

Scrapbooking summer

2010-08-04T23:15:00.000-05:00

I have been keeping myself busy scrapbooking this summer and trying to play catch-up with these pictures and memories. Before beginning, I sorted through a huge stack to find my starting point. I was backed up the start of 2009. That was a long time ago in terms of scrapbooking! :) However, I have done my best, and now can say that I am currently to March 2010, but I'm on hold for now because most of these pictures and memories involve Arturo. I definitely want to include these memories because they are a part of my life, but I'm just not sure how to approach them all, especially the "couple" pictures. Here is what I've done this summer--sorry about the picture quality. I had a hard time getting them to come out without the flash, and with the flash, there was a shiny spot. :( I also couldn't figure out how to add a caption to each page. :(

Mom and her grand-dog

Oklahoma City trip

Sugarland concert

"Rent" in St. Louis

Zac Brown Band concert

Mom's retirement party

I listened to my head instead of my heart

2010-08-03T20:20:00.000-05:00

I really didn't know what to do. My head and heart were going off in two different directions. My heart keeps pounding and shouting and reminding me just how much I love Arturo and want to be with him forever. Yet my head says something different. I did nothing but think about this situation for the past 2-3 weeks—even spent the entire weekend in Minneapolis with Arturo and his family thinking and stressing about my relationship with Arturo. I didn't want to hurt him, and I knew once I broke off our relationship, it would devastate both him and me. I was right. Once I got the actual words out of my mouth, tears flowed and flowed hard. It broke my heart to the extreme, but I know in my head, I will survive. Arturo will get over it too, but it was sooooo hard to hurt him, and that kills me to know how much I hurt him.

I love Arturo, but… There’s always this but. Where does it come from? I love him. Yes, I love him. But there is always going to be something standing in my way of being 100% committed to him and our relationship. I owed it to me and to him to be honest about my feelings. If I've learned nothing else from my past relationships, I did learn to be honest with myself. If I am not 100% sure, then I can't plunge into anything. I will always think "what if", and there are too many of those questions in my relationship with Arturo.

Why do I do this to myself? Arturo really is a great guy, one of the best men I’ve ever met in my life, but I can’t put my heart into us 100% anymore. And if that’s the case, why put both of us through the drama? I know I love Arturo. I love him. I love his family. I really love his family. And it hurts my heart to think of them hating me for breaking up with Arturo. (If you read this, know how much I truly did and still do love him, but we can never be together forever without too many sacrifices on both of our parts.) It hurts my heart to think I won’t have Arturo as a friend, but could we be friends? I've never really been friends with a serious ex, not that I have so many to choose from, but I don't know how to handle just being friends. We may have to figure that one out after some time has passed and wounds have healed (easier said than done). This is one of our last "couple"-y pictures taken during this last weekend. It's one I will treasure forever.

Maybe it’s time I just spend time on me. Get back in my routine of working out, eating right, and focus on me (being in a relationship did make me lose that healthy focus). Start school, go to the gym, hang out with my friends, etc. Just be me for a while. While I like the sound of that, I know it too is much easier said than done. Only time will heal our broken hearts…

A Girls' Day Out with Michael Buble

2010-07-12T22:01:00.001-05:00

My good friend, Michelle, and I had been looking forward to our Girls's Day Out for many months. I think we bought our Michael Buble tickets back in February, and the day had finally come at the end of June. Our day began at Olive Garden for lunch--soup and salad and a VERY tart lemonade drink that made my eyes bulge out of my head and my tastebuds somersault on my tongue.

The day continued with pedicures at the mall in Overland Park. Since they couldn't get us in right away, we took ourselves down to NY&Co for some shopping--30 minutes, a new credit card and two cute dresses later, we were on our way back to get our pedicures.

Since orange is my new favorite color, that made my nail color choice easy! (Notice no mole on my toe? I had it removed back a few months ago--PAINFUL as anything I've had done, but now my feet are so cute!)

We raced out of the mall to make it to our massage appointments. I thought we were going for a stress-free one-hour massage that was going to make me love life and feel invigorated for the concert. Ummm...NO NO NO! Instead, I was pulled, pushed, squeezed, and even bruised by my lovely massage therapist Hilda. (Her name was something nicer, but she should have been named this after the torture she put me through.)

I had never had a swedish massage before and didn't know that the Sweds were into this kind of pain! The best part, other than the end, was the stretching. She did stretch my arms and legs into positions I thought I could only do in yoga. When we left, we were both sore and bruised but ready for dinner at Cheddar's with our friends--Kelly from Boston and the other April :)

Naturally 7 was the group that opened up for Michael Buble, and although I had never heard of them before, they brought the house down! This talented group of seven calls what they do Vocalplay rather than Acapella. They "play" instruments with their voices and sing as well. If you watch the video below (be sure to mute the music at the bottom), you'll see what I mean. Notice no instruments--just air drums, air guitar, air bass, etc. You'll also have to turn your head to the side because I filmed the video with the camera turned and have no idea how to flip it around so it plays rightside up. :)

Michael Buble, my other boyfriend, performed a much better show than even I was prepared for! He was funny, sang all his hits plus one that I fell in love with called "Best of Me", and even embodied Michael Jackson before the night was over. That was one of the highlights, as well as becoming Ferris Bueller for the famous parade float scene. Michael was so charming, and he made the giant arena feel like a more intimate show somehow. Some of the songs he and his band performed were Cry Me a River, Mack the Knife, Crazy Love, For Once in my Life, Home, Feeling Good (one of my faves!), and of course, I Just Haven't Met You Yet.

As you can tell from the pictures, our seats were WAY up in the air. Next time he comes to town, I don't care how much the tickets are, I will be on the floor up close and personal. Michelle and I both will be!

This is the video of Michael B becoming Michael M. (Sorry for the loud scream--a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do--and sideways video.)

I was saddened to see the show and night end, but I will always have this memory.

Chicago

2010-07-07T20:01:00.001-05:00

Arturo and I were fortunate to take a quick vacation up to Chicago a few weekends ago. We were there for two reasons: 1) Arturo wanted to update his Peru ID and get a new passport, and 2) take our first trip together and see if we could survive. We did! :)

Since neither of us wanted to take our own cars (my 10-year-old Focus and his gas-guzzling Mustang) on the road, we rented a 2010 Dodge Caliber. I fell in love with that car, but I know I what I want, and I'm still saving for my new Focus.

We passed this bull on our ping-pong walk along Michigan Ave. It was sooooo hot and humid, and that did not help our situation. We could not find the right building for Arturo's embassy, and we literally walked the same few blocks 3-4 times until we finally realized we were at the point where the street numbers split North and South. Oh boy!

After tackling the city streets of Chicago and living to tell about it (don't I sound like a badass? :)), we made our way to the Navy Pier and spent the rest of the day here. I didn't realize there was so much to do here that would take the entire afternoon and evening--eating, Cirque show, eating, boat ride/tour, eating, shopping, eating,...did I mention eating?

The Cirque Cloud 9 show was good. I say good because it can't compare to the "real" Cirque de Soleil shows I've seen, but the acrobats could definitely put on a show.

This woman amazed me--she was literally standing en pointe on top of her partner's head!

When Arturo and I finally decided on a river architecture boat tour (after looking at the dozen or so offerings...), we had no idea we'd be in a torrential downpour in the middle of the Chicago River. At the point of departure, the weather was perfect--90 degrees or so, sunny, and hot. Within 45 minutes, the temp had dropped to the upper 60s and was raining cats and dogs!! See the pic below to see the rain clouds coming in.

I have no idea what buildings these actually are, but the riverboat docent aptly named these two the "Corncob" buildings. Are they condos? Offices? No idea other than if you look closely at the bottom of the picture, you can see cars parked in the circle too.

There's nothing really spectacular about this picture below other than the story behind the building. Apparently this was one of a couple of buildings in Chicago that was used to film "The Dark Knight" with Heath Ledger.

Two pictures I have (above and below) of the famous Sears Tower. We didn't have time to go to the top--on my list for next time--but I love this second pic of it. Does it look like it's flipping you off? :) I know...I'm sick.

Here comes the rain!!!! Once the downpour started, we all stayed in the lower part of the boat and bought $3.00 ponchos to get us back to dry land without soaking us through and through.

During the rainstorm, we checked out some of the shops at the Navy Pier. Lo and behold, look who I ran into--my other boyfriends Jake and Edward. Mmmm...

I hoped Arturo wouldn't get too jealous of this chef. He allowed me to share my kiss with him. :)

I thought we were going to eat at Hard Rock Cafe so I could add another glass to my collection, but when I saw Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. at Navy Pier, this was it. The food is good but nothing special, but I just love the atmosphere (plus the scrapbook collection I can add). And I was able to add one of their glasses to my collection!

You can't go to Navy Pier without riding the world-famous ferris wheel!

When we FINALLY returned to our hotel (the train was an hour delayed due to the storms), we noticed something peculiar about the area surrounding the hotel--everything was dark. Literally dark. Apparently we didn't care since we were so tired, but we used Arturo's cell phone to light the way to our room, then used mine as a flashlight so we could find our way around the room. Lights out (pun intended) for us! I do have to say, though, after talking to the manager upon our return home, although we won't ever stay there again, he was gracious enough to refund both of the two nights stay. And it's not his fault his hotel did not have any power, but I wanted him to know how we were treated by his employees both the night before and morning of checkout. Let's just say hospitable was not in either girl's vocabulary.

Instead of going back into the city for our last morning, we decided to head home and take in President Lincoln's home tour in Springfield, IL. I'm glad we did that--we didn't have to rush around, and now that I'm older and obviously more mature :), I tend to enjoy these types of tours more than when I was a kid.

Lincoln's front formal living room

Lincoln's only home office area (no real office for the President??)

Lincoln's bedroom--notice the wildly different patterns from the wallpaper, blanket and carpet

I love that Arturo can be playful and fun alongside me--he's trying to be a tough Union soldier here

and I'm just his damsel in distress...Save me Arturo!

An unfortunate incident from our vacation was the disappearance of my big Canon camera. Something happened (no details here...) while we were gone, and now I've had to replace it. I chose a different camera instead of just getting the same one--not that I don't want a new digital SLR, but I want a camera I can actually take with me that's not soooo bulky. I chose the Sony Cybershot HX1 and so far, so good. I've only played around with it, but I plan on taking it with me when Mom and I go see my brother later this month. A few aspects of the camera that I like so far--20x zoom, 1080HD video, tilted screen, the ability to turn off the screen and use the viewfinder (great for concerts and bright days), and easy access to change ISO, shutter speed, and aperture. Some of the cons I've noticed--I can't delete a picture right after taking it but instead I have to view all the pics and then hit delete, and too many "special" settings to figure out. ???

100th post long overdue

2010-07-07T18:07:00.000-05:00

Should I begin with the most recent and work backward or vice versa? I never know where to begin with this thing, unlike my scrapbooks. Those are always done in chronological order, but this is different. So much has come up since my last post--Mother's Day. Ummm...it's after the 4th of July now.

Summer school is almost over (2 days left!!), and this summer has definitely been tougher than last year. I don't know if it's the days--I was on vacation this time last year--or if just the kids are different, but Friday cannot come soon enough for me! On the plus side, with teaching summer school, I get the chance to read every day. While I can't say that I've read any fascinating academic books, I did re-read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn before seeing the new flick. No Academy Awards will be earned, but I love those stories and movies just the same. Now I'm in the middle of the new addition to the Twilight family--The Second Short Life of Bree Tanner. Next up will be The Book Thief (Thanks Hayley!).

This summer also saw the completion (as much as could be done at the moment) of my basement. It's been painted, carpeted, and furnished. Now I just need to add a TV and surround sound system to finish off my "woman-cave".

These four pictures came extremely cheap--they are 12x12 scrapbook paper. I love when I can re-invent something into art.

My Disney scrapbook room was already painted and mostly furnished, but I changed out my utility shelves for some cute white wooden shelves. Now I just need to actually sit down and scrap!

Mother's Day: Feliz Dia de la Madre

2010-05-17T19:38:00.000-05:00

For Mother's Day, I had Arturo's ENTIRE family (well, those who are over here in the states...) over to my house for my first cookout with my new grill. We all had such a good time eating, laughing, eating some more, laughing some more, and just being with each other on this special day since Arturo's mom was here from Peru.

I made this strawberry cake and wrote Happy Mother's Day in Spanish using these cool icing markers. If Arturo had his way, though, the cake would have said something about blah blah blah la plata, or "Give me all your money" since that is what he told me Happy Mother's Day was in Spanish. His whole family, including his mother, thought that story was hysterical! I am just glad Arturo's 12-year-old nephew actually had the guts to tell me the truth! :)

Esperanza (sister), Primi (mother), and Arturo hanging out with the monkey man at the Plaza downtown

Primi likes me :) but I know she wishes she could have an actual conversation with me, not with a translator.

Regina (cousin) and the rest of Primi's family

The whole family, even with Soze's butt!

Now I'm just ready for the end of the school year--only 10 1/2 days left! :) Plus, my carpet is getting installed on Friday, so I should have basement pics shortly of the mostly-finished girl-cave.

Birthday weekend

2010-05-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

I had a fantabulous time last weekend for my birthday. Mom came up and spent the weekend with me. We did our usual--ate breakfast at IHOP (yum!), shopped at Nebraska Furniture Mart (finally found some furniture for my new basement--pics to come when all is finished), and just had some old-fashioned mom/daughter bonding.

Mom was also able to spend more time with Arturo. The great part of that is how much my mom actually likes Arturo. She thinks he is very handsome (thanks Mom! :)), and she loves how mannered and polite he is. He definitely earned some bonus points with the gifts he brought me for my birthday--roses and a Barnes and Noble gift card.

The three of us sat in partial rain and dryness for the Royals loss to Minneapolis. Our seats were JUST in the right spot--our heads were dry while our laps soaked up the drizzle. (Please ignore my hair--it was raining!!)

I love this picture because it looks like these two players are dancing with each other. :)

Slugger flirted with Mom, alongside the man who sat in front of her. He even offered to buy my mom a beer! Now THAT was funny!

This was Mom's first game at Kauffman Stadium, so she cheered on her new team, even if they lost after like 12 innings. Needless to say, we didn't stay for the whole game. The Royals were losing (surprise!), the rain was still falling, and Arturo was VERY tired from working 12 hours that day. Poor baby...

It just wouldn't be a Mom/grand-dog weekend with a picture of the two of them. Soze loves her Grandma!!!

Awww...Thanks babe. :)

Green thumb??

2010-05-02T15:56:00.000-05:00

I had never really felt the "need" to work out in my yard like my dad always did, but this spring, something has come over me. I want to be outside, getting dirty (okay, not too dirty--I did scream bloody murder when a worm landed on my leg), and making sure the landscape looks nice enough to compete with my neighbors.

This is what I have done:

and this is what Arturo did while I slaved away outside. Thanks babe. :)

Omigod, omigod....snappies!

2010-04-14T21:10:00.001-05:00

The annual "Mother/Daughter Weekend" was a big hit! Legally Blonde was better than I thought it would be. If fact, I would say Legally Blonde ranks up there with Wicked! Now that's a compliment!

(Who can go to a Legally Blonde broadway show and NOT come away with a hot pink feather boa?)

Becky Gulsvig played the part of Elle Woods. I was VERY excited to see both her and Rhiannon Hanson from MTV's "The Search for the Next Elle Woods". These girls were outstanding. I can't believe Becky didn't win. She was PERFECT as Elle!!!

The puppies were adorable as well. We all laughed and awwwwwed...when the pups "spoke" on cue. :)

Paulette had an incredible voice as well! When the UPS guy came sauntering across the stage, all the girls screamed and clapped. The music went along perfectly with him too...kind of a Chippendale or stripper song.

Elle and Emmett were too cute together. Even though we knew they would be together in the end, the audience cheered when they finally kissed and made it official. :)

**Show photos credit online. Thanks!

Chugga Chugga...

2010-04-14T20:49:00.000-05:00

The only picture I don't have that I wish I did was a picture of Arturo and me when we first arrived to the show. Apparently our gracious Lord Almighty decided to use that exact moment to dump buckets of rain water directly over the Uptown Theatre in Kansas City. By the time we ran from the car to the theatre, Arturo and I looked like we had just stepped out of the shower. Neither one of us had a dry spot on us, especially Arturo. Poor Arturo...he had to go back outside to take our "illegal" camera to the car!

Butch Walker opened up for Train. While I had never, ever heard of him, he put on a great show! I've looked him up on Youtube since the concert and plan to download his albums. He's definitely a rocker, but he also has a tender, meloncholy sound to his voice.

The moment Pat stepped out on stage, the crowd went crazy! He's sexy and can sing. What more can a girl want????

I was ready for the show. For DAYS prior, my classes listened to Train's album "Save Me, San Francisco". The kids were tired of it, but you know every time "Soul Sister" played, most of them sang along! :) My two new favorite songs of Train's after seeing the show are "Parachute" and "If it's Love". Pat said "If it's Love" will be their next single. Just wait for it... :)

Pat came down to the floor to sing "Marry Me" and decided that the entire audience should be married. The best part, besides seeing him a little closer, was watching the older women grope him like he was Elvis.

Butch Walker came back out to finish the show and sang with Pat. I love how this picture turned out--gritty with a rocker's edge--just how the show was! :)

**I have two videos to upload, but for the life of me, I can't figure out to upload them now! How did I do it before???

Disney on Ice

2010-03-22T19:54:00.000-05:00

Arturo and I took his little cousin, Jimmy, and his nephew, Bryan, to Disney on Ice at the Sprint Center yesterday. Of course, I just really used them as an excuse for me to go! :)

The show was cute--my favorites were The Little Mermaid and The Lion King shows. Basically each ice skating "episode" was a mini-version of the movies. They summed up each story in a 15-minute ice skating show. For me personally, the Tinkerbell show was a little long, but it was visually beautiful!

Both Jimmy and Bryan liked the Cars part of the show. They all came out as show #1, and once they performed, the rest was a little "girly". Jimmy said, "I don't like Tinkerbell!" He wanted Lightning McQueen and Tow-Mater to come back out, as evident by his cute little hat.

Arturo was too cute as well. :) He was so worried about Jimmy and Bryan the whole time. He wanted to make sure they were having a good time and being taken care of. He will definitely make a good dad someday!

First Day of Spring

2010-03-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

Are you kidding me? I wake up to NINE inches of snow on the first day of spring! What happened to our 60+ degrees just a few days ago? Needless to say, I was hoping our speech tourney would have been cancelled, but now I'm glad that the show went on because now I am done until October or so. :) I just can't get over the snow...

More details of my new-found happiness

2010-03-14T20:58:00.000-05:00

Well, Arturo and I have pretty much been inseparable since we met back in February. Even though it's only been just a short time, we both feel as if we've known each other for much, much longer. I don't know what it is, but I feel totally safe when I'm with him and feel like I could tell him anything (and we have told each other stories aplenty!). I've shared my stories of my childhood (including my baby scrapbook), marriage to Todd, divorce, and my relationship with Joon and the consequential breakup. Sometimes I think the whole purpose of my relationship with Joon was to show me that there could be love after divorce and to open my eyes to other cultures.

I met Arturo's family this past week. What can I say? I LOVE them!!! His sister, Esperanza or Espy, and her family welcomed me with open arms. His cousin, Nancy and her family also brought me into their home. They all seemed genuinely interested in me and my life. I can't wait to get to know them more. I know it sounds crazy, crazy, crazy, but I can honestly see myself someday being a part of Arturo's family. Even though Arturo's sister and cousin are the only ones over here in America, he comes from a large family in Peru. Of those I met, I can see they love each other so much, are so close, are loud and boisterous, and are totally giving of themselves. They love to get together and have a good time--eat, dance, take pictures, and spend time outdoors in the summer. How do I know this? Well, I looked at photo album after photo album at Nancy's house and fell in love with them (I also saw a golden opportunity to create more scrapbooks!! :)). Once Arturo and I were looking at the picture below, I noticed how familiar his sister, Espy, looked in the middle. I kept thinking that she looked so much like my sister Angie, and after putting Angie's high school graduation pic next to the computer screen, it was Uncanny. Wow...I will try to find a pic to post later to show really how much they do look alike. Maybe that's a sign... :)

Where will this relationship take me? I have my own ideas, and I'm definitely willing to find out~ I hope we will be together for the long haul. And yes, I do realize that it seems so soon to be saying something like that, but both he and I feel as if we've known each other for soooo much longer. I know Arturo really likes me, and the feeling is mutual for him as well. I'm excited to know that my best days are ahead of me.

A whole lotta new

2010-03-07T20:40:00.000-06:00

This will be a short blog because I'm trying to watch the 2010 Academy Awards, grade, create a vocabulary handout for Romeo and Juliet, and de-shed Soze all at the same time. However, I wanted to take a short break and reflect on the events of the past two weeks of my life.

I have met someone new. This someone is probably the nicest man I have ever met or will ever meet in my lifetime. His name is Arturo, and yes, he is another foreigner. :) It's not like I go looking for them, but he found me, and I am so, so happy he did. We only met two weeks ago, but we have pretty much been together ever since. Arturo is from Peru, has lived in this country for nine years, and works very hard to better his life. He has high hopes for his future and isn't satisfied just working to pay his bills. That is one of the things I admire about him--that, and his love for his family. And yes, I've asked about their beliefs in fortune tellers! ;)

We will see where this relationship takes me, but for now, I know I'm in good hands. He tells me I'm beautiful, treats me like I'm his princess, and who can resist that? I'll post pics when I have them.

a spring and summer of entertainment

2010-02-18T21:23:00.000-06:00

Part of a newfound resolution for me is to spend money. Ha! I wish it were that easy, but I've decided I'm tired of sitting at home and missing out on all these great concerts and shows because I don't think I have the money. Yet I'll go to Walmart and spend $50 or more on random crap...makes no sense to me.

Over the past two days, I've spent money on three upcoming shows--Train (April 6), Michael Buble (June 26), and the Broadway show "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" (July 9). These three have been added to the list, alongside the Broadway show "Legally Blonde" (April 10) that Mom and I already have tickets for. Needless to say, I should have much to blog about after each show!

If you don't know Train, you should! Their current album, "Save Me, San Francisco" has become my new workout music. Plus the song you hear on the radio, "Hey Soul Sister", is a great one to belt out in the car!

Michael Buble is coming here to KC in June to the Sprint Center, and while I thought he was out of my league concert-wise, I decided this will be my treat to myself for making it through another school year. I'll also be teaching summer school again, so this will be an added bonus!

Both "Legally Blonde" and "25th Annual..." have been on my Broadway list since they hit NYC. These will be two shows I hope never to forget.

The spelling bee show is supposed to be hilarious! For example, during one song, a "kid" misspells a word because he can't control his...ummm...growing member. :) Can't wait for that one!

The Lovely Bones

2010-01-12T22:20:00.005-06:00

I just got home from seeing one of the BEST movies I've seen in my 31 years--The Lovely Bones. Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame made a beautiful, stunning should-be-an-epic film. I won't give anything away, but if you are a fan of moving storylines and gripping climaxes, this is a movie for you. I knew I would like it before I ever watched the movie because I read the book back a few years ago before it became popular, and it hit a nerve with me. I don't know if it's because of my sister's death from so many moons ago, but I recognized myself in this story. The Lovely Bones was such a mesmorizing book I didn't want it to end. Skirting the border between human reality and the imagined wonders of heaven, I felt I had been introduced to a world both tangible yet so far away all the same.

What do you think?

2010 already?

2010-01-01T18:09:00.002-06:00

This time last year I made a resolution to be happier...happier with my health, my weight, my love life, etc. I just didn't know how much happier I'd be New Year's Eve 2010 than I was for 2009. Heath-wise, I *think* I'm in pretty good shape--no major battles to report. Weight? Well, I'm down 40 pounds from where I was a year ago, except I've eaten like a bear going into hibernation over the past two weeks. I'm back on my regiment of smaller portions, healthier eating, and working out 3 days a week starting on Monday. You know you can't start anything diet-related on any other day, right? :) And my love life? Let's just say I'm in a great place with Joon, and I can't wait to see what 2010 brings for the both of us together.

New Year's Eve took all of us--Joon, his sister, Ji-Yoon, and me--to a cool Chinese restaurant in Westport called New Peking. The food was unbelieveably good with the portions out of control. For the three of us, our table looked like a mini buffet. The best part was getting up late this morning and finishing off the leftovers.

After dinner, the three of us went to Argosy Casino to test our our luck for the new year. Who knew SO many people would have the same idea? It was crazy busy--"investors" spending money left and right. I was pleasantly surprised to have only lost $5.00 in the four hours we spent playing the slots. Not bad...it could have been worse. At the countdown to midnight, we toasted each other with our champagne and welcomed in 2010 with open arms.

In the same fashion as last year (I figured it worked for me then, it can do it again!), here are some of my thoughts about the upcoming year. I'm not calling them resolutions because those always get broken.

*Continue on my track to get healthy. I'd like to be down 20 pounds by my birthday and another 20 pounds by the end of summer. I will officially be in my ideal weight range if I can succeed with both of those.

*Continue working out 3x a week. This seems to be the easiest of the two because I've sort of actually learned to enjoy going to the gym. YIKES!

*Keep my house clean. I've always been one to be organized, but when it comes to dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc., not so much. Soze doesn't help matters since she loses about a pound of hair a day, but I'm determined to keep on top of the dirt this year.

*Learn to cook for myself. I don't cook at home hardly ever. For me, it's so much easier to stop through at Subway or Long John Silver's or Taco Bell or any other fast food place than it is to whip up a meal for one. However, in order to save money, eat healthier, and show Joon that I can actually make something NOT out of a box, I have to learn to refine my skills in the kitchen. Does anyone know of any good, simple, healthy recipes? Rachel Ray's 30-minute meals is my kind of cooking, but even her food tends to require ingredients I normally don't have in my house.

*Finally, become free of credit card debt and save up for a new car. My little Focus is turning 10 years old this year, and it's time to say goodbye. While I'm not sure what kind of car I'll actually get, the new Kia Soul looks SOOO cute!!

Monday means work again, but I'm not dreading this next semester. Nicole, my student teacher, begins on Monday, and will be with me pretty much until she graduates in May. Yea me! I'm looking forward to getting some much-needed organization done in my room at school while she's teaching, plus taking the opportunity to actually impart knowledge on someone new. Look out world!

Christmas time is here...and gone again

2009-12-30T21:43:00.006-06:00

I can't believe Christmas is already over. Like most, the season seemed to rush by in the midst of work, giving finals, grading, buying gifts, decorating the house, etc. At least I can say that I truly enjoyed myself this Christmas holiday and had so much to look forward to. (I know...improper English, but this is my blog...:)) For the first time, I decorated my table with my new-from-last-Christmas tableware. I love the look of white! I didn't want any red/green, which is incredibly difficult NOT to find, since my kitchen in red/white/black.This is also the second year I put up the smaller tree in the dining room. I love this tree! It totally reminds me of something my good friend Hayley would do. What do you think Hayley? :)

Of course, my "real" tree in the living room is full of anything and everything Disney. I'm afraid I scared Joon just a bit with my Christmas-y decor since neither he or his family have celebrated Christmas since they were kids. (I asked him about that, and he didn't really have an answer. They just don't make a big deal about it. Christmas is just another day to them. Well, I have news for him...) He did have fun putting together my new tree. He spent almost 3 hours (HOURS!) getting the tree out of the box and arranging each limb so it would look perfect. He said this tree business was an art form, and he wanted to get it right. Apparently, I've been just slapping my tree together for years now.

Before school let out for break, the teachers met at Diamond Bowl, a little funky modern bowling alley in downtown Independence for the annual Christmas party. Guess what? I WON a basket!! Each house donated items to be gathered for 5 or 6 different baskets, and if you wanted a chance to win one of the baskets, you bought tickets. (The money goes to our Benevolence Fund at school, which helps our homeless and needy kids.) I put in $20, and I WON! This is the basket--I figured there was about $150 worth of stuff. Not too shabby!

Let's see...2 bags of Twizzlers, 4 soup bowls, 1 soup mix, 1 brownie mix, 1 cupcake mix, 1 large tin of hot chocolate plus the cutest little whisk, a cookbook that will never get used, an Andrea Bocelli Christmas CD, 4 free movie tickets (I only can find 2 now for some reason.), 4 handmade coasters, 2 nice reed diffusers, the Apples to Apples game, 2 bottles of wine (1 white, 1 red), a giant bottle of Begium beer, and a gift set of Irish creme/2 small glasses. I made the soup last night, and it was delicious!

Joon and I had our Christmas the weekend before and exchanged gifts because he couldn't wait until Christmas. I think someone's Grinch-y heart is growing...

He gave me a 320 GB external hard drive for my laptop. I had asked for this b/c I don't want to use my laptop's drive for all my music and pictures. He also gave me a pair of gloves and a very nice dress coat. He received some cologne, the new Call of Duty game, and an electric razor. He really likes the game--he's playing it right now!

Soze loves her new much-needed big dog bed. It actually matches the rest of the living room decor and is so soft! Maybe now she won't spend so much time on the couch, but I wouldn't bet on it. She enjoys laying next to me too much!

Joon drove down with me on Wednesday to surprise my mother at her retirement party (another blog another day), so he was able to finally meet my family. They all loved him, as I knew they would. On the very first day at my mom's house, Joon came across this picture of me hanging on her wall, and he fell in love! He thought I was just the cutest little thing at 3-years-old, and I couldn't disagree.

Grandma spoiled her granddog, and Soze literally eats it all up...

One surprise that I had in store for Mom was a shadowbox of her baby clothes. After my grandmother passed away in February, Mom found several of her baby dresses. She knew she wanted to keep them, but she wasn't sure how to display or preserve them. I think I surprised her with this one!

My brother Cliff and his son Adam...it seems like just a few years ago that I found Adam sitting in his crib, diaperless, with poop smeared all over himself and flung on all the furniture in the room. Remember that one Mom?

One present that I actually asked for...don't laugh...was a Snuggie. My house gets cold, and I refuse to turn up the heat anymore than I absolutely have to. A Snuggie could be my solution! So here we are, my sister-in-law, Terri and me--Snuggie Sisters! :)

I know that even though I have such a good time with my family since I only see them all once a year, the time comes to say goodbye and come back home. This is what Joon and I returned home to--about 8 inches of snow! We couldn't even get in the driveway, and I didn't have a shovel! Joon borrowed one from my neighbor to get started, and I drove to both Home Depot and Sears in search of a much-needed snow shovel. Sears came to the rescue, and when I got back to the house, Joon was in shovel mode.

It has snowed about 2 more inches since this, but at least the main roads seem pretty clear. Joon and I were supposed to visit my stepfamily down in Memphis, but with the snow and ice, and even Memphis's bad weather, we decided to stay in and go sometime either this spring or summer. I can't wait for them to meet him, and I know they will love him just as much as the rest of my family does.

I've been working on catching up on my scrapbooks the past 2-3 days, and I hope to have some pics up on another post. Instead of being 2 years behind, now I'm only 7 months behind!

Thanks to Mom

2009-12-30T21:27:00.003-06:00

Mom and I spent some quality Mother-Daughter time over Thanksgiving. I drove down to Springfield to visit, eat, shop, and go to a Branson show. Ryan's buffet fed us a home cooked meal (at least it tasted like it!), and we both enjoyed out time there because 1) we didn't have to cook a giant Thanksgiving dinner just for the two of us, and 2) we didn't have to clean up after ourselves! We also treated ourselves to a movie, but for the life of me, I can't think of what we saw now.

Of course, Black Friday meant SHOPPING! I am NOT one of those people who venture out early anymore after standing in line for 3 hours to buy a $20 DVD player a few years back. Who wants that? So now I just get up and go out on my own when I feel like it. This year it didn't seem like the crowds were too bad. Most of my shopping was done that day, and then I met up with Mom after she got off work that afternoon. We went back out for more shopping and finally finished up around 9 pm. Needless to say, that was one LONG day!!

Saturday meant lounging around the house and then heading for Branson later in the afternoon. Mom had bought us tickets (FRONT ROW...) to see the Baldknobbers Country Jamboree. I used to LOVE this show when I was a little girl. Now? Not as much...After seeing so many Broadway shows, this was just a small letdown. I mean, the singers could sing, the comedians were funny, but it just wasn't the same show from when I was a kid. Next year, I think we will go back to our favorite show in Branson--Pierce Arrow.

Back to Halloween

2009-12-30T21:13:00.002-06:00

Since I hadn't blogged about Halloween yet, I thought I'd go back and put in a little blurb before Thanksgiving and Christmas. Joon and I met some friends at Ernie Bigg's Piano Bar, my favorite spot downtown. They were celebrating their two year anniversary with a big party and costume contest. Joon and I didn't win (we didn't enter, so I guess that takes us out of the equation), but we had so much fun just the same. I'll let you figure out which ones we are. :)

Thinking of summer

2009-12-07T19:56:00.009-06:00

Since it is really, really cold outside (try 17 degrees or so...), I thought I would look through some summer pictures and reminice about the good ol' warm days. Joon and I had a summer pool party to bring both sides of our friends together. This was my first chance to meet his good friends, and I love them all! They are so genuine and seemed thrilled to meet Joon's "better half".

Sarah, Jill, me, and Kelly take some time to relax and enjoy our time off from school. Of course, I'm sure all we talked about was school during our time together (as always!).

I finally broke down and had to buy a new lawnmower this summer as well. The old one was really old, and I was done restarting it every five minutes. Joon helped me pick out my new shiny red one (see how technical I can get?). I love it!

Joon also helped me start my own little garden of tomatoes. I've never grown anything in my life, except maybe a Chia pet when I was in the 6th grade. Much to my surprise, the tomatoes grew! I had plenty of cherry tomatoes for my salads all summer, plus a few regular tomatoes for my world famous BLTs!

Zac Brown Band's Southern Ground Tour

2009-11-28T11:49:00.009-06:00

My good friend, Lindsay, from school, invited me to go see Zac Brown Band perform at the new Independence Events Center (this was the first event I believe at this new arena). Knowing that I’ve past up too many concerts before, I immediately said yes! So, two weeks ago, we met up after school with her daughter and five of her middle school buddies.
Needless to say, the concert was fantastic! I was very surprised that I even enjoyed as much as I did, even after standing all night on the floor! I knew I liked what little ZBB songs I’d heard on the radio, but I loved every song they performed, even the ones I’d never heard in my life (and there were plenty!)
(Levi Lowry above)
Because this was the Southern Ground Tour, ZBB had three other performers with them. Levi Lowry came out first and sang a few songs. I immediately became drawn to his sound because it felt so raw and full of emotion. The crowd seemed to really like him more than the other two openers because of his music. Now the third guy that came out, the crowd liked for a different reason—he was HOT! Nic Cowan looked nothing like a country singer, but he hails from Texas and has that southern drawl. He was making the women drool. No wonder the floor was wet and sticky by the end of the show. :) The only woman on tour, Sonja Leigh, sang in between the two guys. She had a rocker-grittiness to her voice, but she could sing. I liked her, but she was my least favorite among the opening acts. One part that I thought was cool was that Zac Brown (I did learn there is an actual Zac Brown in the Zac Brown Band!) himself came out and sang at times with each opener. Most “big name” singers don’t do that, but he seemed very down to earth and normal. He was just a country rocker with a guitar and a song, and he wanted to share his music with others.

One sour note of the evening was that there was a group of girls (I hate to use the term ladies or women because they certainly weren’t acting like any.) directly in front of us who were SOOOO drunk they could not stand up on their own. Two women danced with each other during most of the opening acts. One of them kept swaying and bumping into me. I’m not a confrontational person, but I’d had it at that point. I politely asked them to move up just a bit into some empty space in front of them. She ignored me, and the girl next to me jumped in and asked again. She still ignored me. Finally, I elbowed her in the back and pushed her forward. Both girls stumbled but didn’t say anything. Fast forward 15-20 minutes and ZBB is getting ready to come out. One girl looks like she is going to puke, one is holding her up, etc. Lindsay said something to the “leader” of the group, and 5 minutes later, they all left! The “leader” was pissed off at us, but we just said it was because of her group no one wanted to be around. Once they all left, we all enjoyed the show just a little bit more…
Zac Brown came out and rocked the crowd. The band performed for almost 3 hours! That is unheard of in the concert world I think. Most groups usually sing for MAYBE 1 ½ hours at the most?? ZBB did it from about 8:20 or so until almost 11:30! We definitely got our money’s worth of entertainment! They played everything from Bob Marley to America the Beautiful and country in between. Of course, “Chicken Fried” and “Toes” were two of the biggest hits with the crowd, and we all sang along to “Whatever it is”, but we also went nuts for their rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”, the same tune they performed at the CMA’s just last week! Other songs I enjoyed were “Sic ‘em on a Chicken”, “Jolene”, and “Highway 20 Ride, but my new favorite song of ZBB is “Free”. It’s a beautiful country ballad about being free and going in whatever direction your life takes you. This song just really hit home for me after the turmoil of the past year.

After this show, I will definitely follow ZBB music. I’ve already downloaded their album, and I can’t wait to hear the next one! I just added 5 or 6 of ZBB songs to my playlist, so if you want to listen to a specific song, just scroll to the bottom and look at the end of the playlist. :)

My new toy

2009-11-11T17:18:00.003-06:00

Can I just tell you how much I am loving my new toy, my new HP G60 laptop? I have wanted to buy a laptop for a couple of years but always made excuses on why I really didn't NEED one. After my mom told me about this special at Walmart, I knew I had run out of excuses. Walmart was selling this laptop for one day only at a special price of $298. Wow! After checking around, the price seemed too good to be true. At other sites online, the computer was going for $450 or more. Nice! :)

Joon helped me get everything set up, but I have a slight problem with the computer. Now that I have it, I have no reason to get up off the couch! I can watch TV, movies, catch up on my DVR, and spend time online all at the same time. However, this gives me no excuses for not putting another newbie to good use--Rosetta Stone. I bought this program so I can learn a new language--Korean, of course! :) I also need to figure out a way to get my old programs and files from my desktop to this new laptop. Any ideas?

Sugarland May 2009

2009-10-30T16:29:00.010-05:00

I'm going back in time for a little while to share some of the more memorable moments of this past summer. While I didn't feel like I could blog about this stuff at the time, I most certainly am making up for it now! :)

Back last spring, I bought 2 tickets (not knowing who I'd be going with) to the Sugarland concert. They were coming to town on the very last day of school, and I thought that would be a perfect "school's out" treat for myself! Since I had met Joon, I knew I had to drag him along for the ride. Country is really not his type of music, but he loved this concert. He didn't like all the standing up we did for the entire show, but he enjoyed himself (I like to think it was because he was with me! :))

Matt Nathanson opened up as the first act, and he wowed the crowd with his voice. Man, can he sing! If you don't know who he is, he is the guy who sings "Come on Get Higher". It's on my song list at the bottom of the screen if you want to hear it. He sang a few songs, and Kristian Bush from Sugarland came out and played a little jam session with Matt. Since the concert, I've downloaded Matt's CD, "Some Mad Hope". It's a really good CD. My favorite song of his before listening to the CD was, of course, "Come on Get Higher", but now it's "Wedding Dress". What a beautiful song...how great would that song be for a wedding dance? :) Hmmm...

After Matt's set was over, the "real" opening act began. Billy Currington came out and gave a great performance! I'd never really known this guy before except maybe a song or two on the radio, but he was good. His biggest hit was "People are Crazy", but he sang "Must be Doin' Something Right" and kicked it into high gear with "I Wanna Be a Hillbilly". Billy definitely earned my respect that night with these and a bunch of other songs. He seemed to be very comfortable on stage and talked to the crowd between each song.

Finally, the wait was over! Sugarland came out and rocked it!! They started with a ballad from behind the screen, then transitioned into "Settlin'". This was their introduction to the KC crowd of 10,000 or so screaming fans.

We all went nuts as they sang hit after hit. Jennifer and Kristian belted out "It Happens" (see the video below--just be sure to pause the song at the bottom of the screen before you push play on the video), "Want to", "Stay" (which the whole crowd, including me, belted out along side of her), "Joey", "Genevieve", "Everyday America" (they showed pics from all over KC that they had taken that afternoon), "Blood on Snow", "Who Says You Can't Go Home", etc. They played too many of their hits to name them all, but what a wonderful night of music, dancing, and singing right along with them. Even Joon found himself singing along at a few parts! :)

The most surprising events/songs of the night were:

*Jennifer broke into a Madonna medley during one song. She interrupted her own song to sing "Holiday", "Into the Groove" and (I think) "Best of my Love".

*Before the finale, both Jennifer and Kristian got into these blow-up bubbles and literally walked/rolled across the floor on top of the audience. That was fabulous!

*Perhaps one of the best moments came during the encore. The entire band, including Jennifer and Kristian, came out dressed as the B-52s and performed "Love Shack". It was so awesome!

This was a great experience to share with Joon. It's definitely a concert I'll never forget! Can't wait to see what Sugarland does next!

Happy me

2009-10-21T18:36:00.006-05:00

I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'm just going to get this out there. I'm in love! I know...I just wrote a blog entry on my new divorce, but the truth is, the divorce is just now final after many, many months of being single. I wasn't really looking, but I found someone who totally makes me happy, and I love how I feel about myself when I'm with him.

Okay, how did we meet? I decided in March to put myself out there in the crazy dating pool known as online dating. After signing up and talking to a few guys I'd never end up with, including a 57-year-old biker dressed as Santa and a full-time poker player who lives at home with his dad, Joon found me. He let me know he was interested and thought I was cute. I looked him up online and saw that he was a Korean doctor who liked to travel. I'd never dated a Korean before, and since this was my time to try new things, I thought why not. We began talking online, chatting back and forth, emailing each other, and we continued to do this for a couple of weeks. I learned that this man made me laugh so much that I just had to meet him! Our first official date was Wednesday, April 8th, and we've been together ever since.

I won't bore you with all the details of our dates and time together, but just know that we are totally serious about each other. I love that he calls me his babe, and we have so much more in common than I ever thought possible. After all, he grew up in South Korea and didn't speak English really until he was 19 or so when he came to America. I grew up in Arkansas and Missouri and was raised by a preacher. However, we love to laugh together, watch movies, listen to music, dance, and talk to each other. I think that is one of the most enduring qualities about Joon--we can talk to each other and tell each other anything. We have the best conversations about nothing! Our biggest differences? He cooks, I don't. I spend money, he doesn't. That balances out, right?

I'll close with some of our favorite pics:

*being goofy at his place before meeting some friends

*hanging out at my favorite downtown place--Ernie Biggs

*snuggling together at the bowling alley

Now that it's out, I can't wait to keep you updated with more news from my new love. Keep reading!

Closure

2009-10-07T16:48:00.002-05:00

Our divorce is FINALLY final. I feel as if this has been an ongoing saga in my life forever, even if it’s really been just shy of a year. Todd and I separated on November 12, 2008, I filed for divorce on January 4, 2009, and we went to court and walked out with divorce papers in hand on October 5, 2009.

When I first contemplated how I would write a blog entry regarding the details of my separation and eventual divorce, I thought I would lay it all out on the line. In fact, I even wrote up a draft entry to save for just the right moment to tell the world what really happened. Now, I don't feel the need to share ALL of that part of my life any longer. However, I do want to tell a part of the story my way.

I’m not sure Todd even reads my blog, but even if he does, I want him to know that for what it was worth, he was a part of my life. A part I don't regret but wish I had made different decisions along the way.

The following is from the original post I wanted to share back last year, dated November 16, 2008: "Where do I begin? I never, ever thought my life would turn out this way. I have friends who'd been divorced. I have family who'd been divorced. I have parents who'd been divorced.... 'Never would I marry a man who would do this to me.' I was smart in my choice. I know how to pick a decent man who would never, ever make me feel like I would be trapped in a marriage because I had no other way out. Guess what? God had other plans. He let me live almost ten years with Todd, through struggles of infertility, illness, school, jobs/no job, ups and downs, until we hit rock bottom. I thought Todd almost dying would have been our rock bottom. I mean, after all, he was out of work for a year while I worked as a high teacher to support us both. We did get support, too, from both of our families, for which we were eternally grateful. Yet none of that pain adds up to the pain I have felt over this past one week..."

That was many, many months ago. I honestly don't even recognize this writing because that is not who I am now. I can say this now without feeling embittered, but for the first few weeks (maybe months), I was angry. Angry at the world for letting my life turn out this way. Angry at Todd for ruining our future plans. Angry at myself for turning a blind eye for so long. But you know what? I’m no longer angry. In fact, I’m happier than I have been in a really, really long time. I feel like I can finally get back to my old self—one who’s not waiting around for something to happen or someone to come around the corner. Am I happy that it’s over? While I feel like our marriage was over a long time ago, it does feel like closure now. That’s the word—closure. No matter what was said, done, etc., now we can officially move on with our lives. I hope Todd has moved on with his, as I am ready to move on to the next stage of my life. Hence, I’ve made plans for myself:

· Continue to work out 3 days a week and lose 30 more pounds. (I’m down 38 from December of last year.)
· Get back to my cleaning schedule at home (every Saturday morning).
· Organize the storage room in the basement—get rid of excess in general.
· Decorate my house for Fall. I don’t really have much in the way of Halloween, but I’ve bought some really cute fall decorations at Kohl’s.
· Get back to blogging on a regular semi-basis, not the 1 blog every few months just so people know I’m still alive.
· Get back to SCRAPBOOKING!!!!! OMG—I haven’t done this for myself since Dad died back in November 2007. Wow—I’m so behind. I also want to do some major overhaul on my current scrapbooks now that the divorce is final. For some reason, I had a mini-meltdown Monday afternoon/evening after the court hearing. I suddenly noticed all of my scrapbooks sitting on the shelves in the living room and thought to myself, “Now what am I going to do with these?” The meltdown wasn’t because I was sad at losing a husband or my marriage, but it just reminded me that I spent my ENTIRE adulthood married to Todd, and every occasion is documented to the fullest in the pages of my albums. I pulled them all down, looked through each one page by page, and put a plan together. I’m going to redo them. Say what? I’m not redoing them from scratch, but I’ve decided that since I still have these memories from the last 10+ years Todd and I were together, I want to remember the events and family and conversations and emotions of these times when I look at my scrapbooks, NOT the idea that we are now divorced and it was all for naught.
· Live my life the way I choose and have a good time along the way.

That will be all for now. I do have more to share, but it will come at a later time.

Back to school for Year #10!

2009-08-28T17:25:00.002-05:00

I truly cannot believe this will be my 10th year of teaching. I remember student teaching at Parkview High School in Springfield, and that does not seem THAT far back. Hmmm...Derek, one of my first students, would be 27 this year. That does not seem possible! I always said that I wouldn't feel old until my current students were born the year I graduated high school. Well, that time is approaching. The freshmen I have this year were born back in 1995. Holy cow! Where does the time go?

I wish I had pictures to post of my new classroom (8th different room in 10 years, thankyouverymuch!), but I still haven't taken those yet. Good intentions aside, I just keep forgetting my camera. Maybe next week I can take pics while I'm there for Open House.

Some back to school thoughts:

My body does NOT like to get up on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays. I don't mind Thursdays so much because that's my shorter day. I only teach two classes that day, am off for my plan time, then school is over. Of course, I don't mind waking up on Fridays because it's Friday!
More room in the classroom = less problems in the classroom. Since my kids can spread out just a bit and aren't right on top of each other, there seems to be less touching and griping with each other.
I'm totally changing how I grade this year. The only grades going in my gradebook this year MUST fit a category (Participation, Portfolio, Essay, Project, or Test). That's it. No more grading random worksheets. If it's not a part of the above, forget about it.

I know I have more thoughts, but it's Friday afternoon and I am ready for the weekend. Tonight at 7:30 I am closing on my house re-finance FINALLY! It's only taken 5 months! Once I have closed on the house, I am meeting some friends for our first Back-in-school-and-I-need-a-reason-to party party. :)

Just FYI--I did join Nutrisystem back at the beginning of August but didn't actually start until school began last week. I have lost 4 pounds since then! Yea me! :) The food is surprisingly good (I've only dumped 1 thing--the mac/cheese with hamburger). I'm eating ALL the time and like the commercial, I can have dessert EVERY NIGHT! :)

biting the big one

2009-07-30T11:17:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's time for me to face facts. I haven't lost any more weight since school ended, and I was hoping to be down 10-15 more pounds before school started up again. Well, guess what? I go back next week, and nada--no weight loss, but more likely weight gain. I'm still going to the gym for my classes (yoga and pilates), but even I know that's not enough. I have to get back in the gym on a regular basis to really work out--treadmill, bike, weights, you name it. So after talking to a friend last night, I've decided that I need more motivation. That's why I just plunged head first spending $269 on a month of Nutrisystem. I figure a couple of things--$269 is actually less than what I spend right now on food each month, so I'm hoping to save some money in the long run. I also figure that since I'm living on my own, this will be a much easier way to control my eating habits on a daily basis. Will it be difficult to drive past McDonald's and NOT stop for my daily $1 diet coke? You betcha, but I know I have to do something to get back on the right track. I'll let you know how it's going once I've been on the plan for a while. Who knows? Maybe this is just the kick in the pants I need to finally finish what I've longed for.

just a dog?

2009-07-29T18:06:00.011-05:00

Those who know me know I love my dog more than some people. I know "some" say, "she's just a dog," but Soze has been in my family for the past 8 years, and she has come to be my baby. She's more than just my dog--she's my companion, my couch buddy, my little lady, and my punkinhead. When I picked her up at the Humane Society, she was only 6 weeks old and weighed about 5 pounds. Who knew that this tiny little puppy would grow into this massive I'll-eat-everything-in-sight-including-your-new-shoes-and-an-entire-loaf-of-bread monster? Even if I knew how much money she would cost me over the next 8 years and counting, I'd still take her in a heartbeat. Here's why:

Of course, I've also taken enough hair from Soze that I could recreate 150 more of her over the years. This is an example of my living room after a good de-shedding brush treatment. Soze acts like I'm abusing her when I brush her, but I know she has to feel better once that hair is gone. Here's hoping for plenty more memories to come! I love you Soze! :)

Playing around in photoshop

2009-07-17T16:51:00.004-05:00

I'm taking a really cool Jessica Sprague class online that is showing me how to use textures, frames, texts, and today she showed us how to use clipping masks (who knew?) to create really cool photo collages. Here's what I did: (shhh...this may become a Christmas present...shhh...)

Here's another that I made of Soze--I'm definitely framing this one!

Taking this one class has made me want to take her others. She definitely knows what she's talking about! Maybe this fall I'll be able to take Jessica's other photoshop classes and learn from the master herself. :)

I just flew back from Atlanta and BOY are my arms tired!

2009-07-15T11:16:00.016-05:00

When I think about all that I haven't blogged about recently, my mind begins to swim. That's why I'm not going to stress about telling you every little bit of my summer, but instead focus on the major events. I feel like I apologize every time I get on here because I haven't been keeping up with my blogs like I thought I would, and I am going to stop apologizing. My friend Bonnie put it best when she said "I'd rather be living my life than blogging about it." Amen sister! Thanks Bonnie! :)

For starters, I just got back from a school trip to Atlanta where we presented and attended conferences on High Schools That Work. While I did see some interesting ideas (and people), one thought that popped up in my head quite frequently was how these "professional" people spoke. One woman was so bad that I began to tally each time she said "um" or "uh" during her speech. Before I left at the 30-minute mark, this professional speaker had said 165 ums or uhs. HOLY COW! I just couldn't take it any more. I had to get out of there!

Our group stayed at the Holiday Inn Select, and this was the view from our hotel window--the Olympic torch. How cool is that? Since I had never been to Atlanta before (I don't think just the airport counts.), I was super stoked to visit somewhere new. The following is a list of what I did or saw during my stay:

--LOTS of bad drivers. I thought the people down in Springfield were bad? Ummm...they don't have anything on the drivers in Atlanta. Chad, our administrator in charge and the driver of our minivan, couldn't let everyone else take control, so he felt it necessary to join the ranks of the other drivers. It didn't help, I have to say, to have a British speaker on our GPS who kept telling us to turn either left or right as we were passing THROUGH the intersection. Needless to say, we made LOTS of U-turns!

--Atlanta Underground is a place for food, fun, and weed. On our first afternoon in Atlanta, we ate lunch at the Atlanta Underground, a part of the city that burned way back in the day. Instead of tearing it all out, they decided to build OVER

this section. So now there's a cool little shopping and eating area. As we were making our way to Johnny Rocket's (it's called Rocket's for a reason! Ugh!) to eat lunch, apparently Justin, our second administrator on the trip, looked like he needed some weed. Some random dude offered him some pot! We are really hoping it was an undercover cop, and Justin passed the test. At least that's what we kept telling ourselves!

--The CNN tour was really cool. I skipped out on two sessions because one was with the lady who said um 165 times, and I just didn't care to hear that again. So I walked across the street to CNN and paid my $13 to tour the news. I couldn't take pictures inside the tour (I really, really wanted to take a picture of huge Anderson Cooper on the wall--YUM!), but I did manage to snag this shot from below the newsroom. The wall of windows below the CNN and globe is the actual newsroom where 90% of all CNN news comes from. While I was there, the weather man was getting ready to begin, and a news anchor was reporting behind the desk. I was able to get my picture taken from behind a CNN news desk as well. :)

--Coke World was not as cool as I expected it to be. For $15, I expected more. We did see a cute 4-D show (hence the glasses) about what makes a Coke so special. However, I was expecting more of a tour like the Anheiser-Busch tour in St. Louis where you see production from beginning to end. Coke World only had one little bottling tour that took less than 5 minutes to walk through. Boring! I guess the best part was tasting some Coke samples from around the world. The Korean one was REALLY good! :)

--My new favorite restaurant resides in Atlanta--a place called Two Urban Licks. This is what we drove up to, and my first thought was "Where the heck are we????" However, once we went inside, the place was totally rocked out! The food was unbelievably good--Calamari, tuna tartar, GIANT beef rib with homemade mac and cheese, oh man. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

--The best part? Getting to know some more people from school that I didn't really know before this trip. They were a great group, and we laughed NONSTOP. "That's what she said!"

(By the way, I'm taking a Jessica Sprague online class on using frames and text with pictures. It's a cool class and I plan on taking more from her later on!)

Birthday

2009-05-10T09:36:00.010-05:00

Finally, an update. I do realize probably the only reason I'm really on here, other than to give you just a small sneak peek of what's been going on in my life recently, is to avoid tackling the laundry basket of papers and portfolios I need to grade before tomorrow. Let's see...I have Fahrenheit 451 tests and portfolios to grade for my seniors, The Great Gatsby tests and portfolios to grade for my juniors, and whatever late work my freshmen have turned in to date. I have a feeling the freshmen work won't be graded any time soon. I'll get to it...eventually. :)

Back to why I started this post:

My birthday. My mom and I had a FABULOUS time together when she came to visit me for my 31st birthday weekend. She arrived Friday evening, and we ate dinner at a local Mexican place up here called Jose Pepper's. They make the BEST cheese dip--and I think that's a very high compliment considering I thought Mexican Villa down in Spfld was the best before! The highlight of our meal was the cheese dip was FREE! :) Gotta love Valpak coupons! :) After dinner, we just came back to the house and talked. Even though we talk on the phone every day (more than once, mind you), it was good to talk to her in person. Just sit on the couch and gossip. Because I still didn't have any bedroom furniture, poor Mom slept on the couch that night, but she said it was fine. She took the couch while I wrestled with the air mattress. (Never again...)

The next morning, on my actual birthday, we woke up early and went to breakfast at IHOP over by Nebraska Furniture Mart. The plan was to eat, then go shopping for new furniture. I had already picked out what I wanted for my new bedroom:

I found this set online and just fell in love! Weeeelllllll, when I saw it in the store, I fell out. It looked rediculously cheap, and according to the salesperson, it was. So it was a no go. We searched until I came across THE ONE. Actually, there were two that I considered to be THE ONE, but after much debate, I finally settled on this:

The bedding I found at Dillards and just thought it was the girliest set! BEAUTIFUL! I wanted something luxurious, and my 500-thread count sheets are it! :) This was the time to splurge. Just FYI--after testing it out last night for the first time, I was right! Never again can I go back to the Walmart $10 sheets after sleeping like a baby with this Princess set. Now everytime I go into my new bedroom, I want to open my arms wide and sing out a chorus of "Hallelujah" in high C. (I think I've done that twice!)

So, after choosing my new bedroom, it was time to pick out the other furniture I still needed. I found a nice set for the guest bedroom in the Clearance center--headboard, chest, and nightstand. (I'll add pictures of it when I finish setting that room up.) Then I saw the patio set I wanted--high top table, bar chairs, cute, cute, cute. (Again, I'll add pictures of it later.)

Once we wrapped up all of our shopping at NFM, we headed over to the Legends shopping area (much like Branson Landing) to see what kind of deals we could make. I found some new brown dress sandals for this summer, a skirt (SIZE 12!), and a couple pairs of shorts from Old Navy (SIZE 12!). (Just had to throw my new sizes in there--down 3 sizes since December...) This is the only picture of both my mom and me from this weekend. You can tell we were trying not be blown away by the wind (this area ended up having a deadly tornado just an hour or so after we left).

Dinner was calling by this time, so we drove into downtown and ate at The Cheesecake Factory in the Plaza. Hmmmm...cheesecake...

Sadly, my birthday came to an end, and Mom had to go back home the next day. All in all, my birthday was a smashing success. I met up with some friends the next weekend to celebrate a late birthday, and that did not disappoint either! No pictures to post, but let's just say it ended with me getting an ice shower from a VERY attractive piano player downtown. :) The End

no new post

2009-04-30T19:59:00.002-05:00

Not sure why I haven't been blogging this month, except the only news-worthy stuff so far has been non-bloggable (is that a word?). I'll definitely blog about it later, but for now, it's in my head and that's where it will stay for a while.

I did celebrate my 31st birthday with my mom, and I do plan on blogging about that this weekend. I need to upload my pictures to the computer first, so let me get on that, and I'll fill you in on my fabulous birthday later! :)

Where has the time gone?

2009-04-01T18:45:00.006-05:00

My seniors surprised me this morning by starting the countdown to graduation on my board. They are out of school in 32 days! I couldn't believe it when I saw that number. This school year really has flown by. When I think of all that has happened this year, my mind literally cannot comprehend that the end is drawing near. I have so much yet to do!!! My seniors are reading Fahrenheit 451, a commentary by Ray Bradbury on the state of current affairs (how scarily close he was to predicting the future...), and I want to end their senior year by doing some awesome poetry (thanks to Hayley in advance!!) and reflective writing. For so many of my seniors, I know this will be the VERY last English class they ever take in their lives, so I want to end this year by doing some things they will appreciate (I hope!).

My juniors are currently reading The Great Gatsby and although some are hating it, others tend to be quite involved with Nick and Daisy and Gatsby and the whole gang. I still want to do one more writing piece with them, and then hopefully end the year with A Raisin in the Sun.

Freshmen? Oh boy, they are a whole other crop...they are doing some poetry stuff right now--in fact, some groups presented their poem/song choice today, and I heard some good ones. We had anything from Bob Marley's "Waiting in Vain" to Sara Bareilles' "Love Song" to HotStylz's "Yo Mama Got a Mustache." That last one was HILARIOUS!!! To be honest, I have no idea what I'm going to do with them after this--just something to make it through the end of the year.

Speaking of end of the year, I'm on the list to teach summer school this year. I don't know if I'll get chosen or not, but the practical side of me really needs to teach for the money. Things are going to be very tight when I refinance, and I will need every extra dollar I can get to make it through. If I don't get chosen, money will still be tight, but I will enjoy my summer and my pool! :)

On a side note, I may be moving classrooms again. However, this time, it will be to a much bigger and better room! Let's see...this will make my 8th room in 10 years. Hmmph! Bring it on!!!

I'll close with some pictures of school projects my kids have done this year. See? I don't sit on my butt all day! (NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!) The faces have been deleted to protect the innocent.

Before we began reading Of Mice and Men, the juniors created their own little "Hoovervilles". The rules were: There were no rules--they could steal whatever materials they could get their greedy little hands on in order to build a shelter big enough for their "family" group.

During our reading of "The Odyssey", the freshmen re-wrote the story as a script and acted it out with stick puppets. Aren't they cute?

My freshmen made a game out of a story called "The Most Dangerous Game", complete with a gameboard, moving pieces, rules, and most importantly, playability.

Spring Break Here I Come!

2009-03-15T13:16:00.003-05:00

This week cannot come fast enough. Not that I have anything major planned, but Spring Break for me just reminds me that the school year is almost over. Instead of getting a full week off like I am used to, we only get Wednesday-Friday off. Apparently, it's so we get out two days earlier in May, but as it stands right now, we are going to school until May 27th anyway. So instead of being bored after a few days, I am going to revel in my three days.

I thought I had plans made with a friend, but I'm thinking those plans may be on the back-burner for now due to situations out my control. I definitely want to clean house, work outside just a bit, relax, put up my new scrapbook shelf, relax, work on some home projects, scrapbook, and relax. Did I mention I want to relax? It's not that my life has been totally wound uptight lately, but I just want to keep moving forward. No matter what is getting in my way, I have decided to move forward and not look back. I know this may sound corny, but I was watching season 1 of "Reba", and she said a line that struck a chord with me. Her advice to her daughter was this: "You can't mourn the rest of your life just because things didn't turn out how you always imagined they would." BINGO! I'm trying to take this to heart.

Okay, so this blog post didn't turn out exactly how I had planned either, so I'll end with commenting on the new book I'm reading. Actually, I'm in the middle of two, but one is here at home and the other is at school. The Shack, by William P. Young, is turning out to be everything I had heard. Kodi, I think you were the first person to tell me about this book, and now that others have read it and offered it to me, I can honestly say, "Why didn't I read this sooner??" So far, I'm only halfway into it, and it is definitely making me think of my own spiritual journey. For those of you who haven't read it, the book begins with a man, Mack, and his family. They are the typical family who loves each other but something tragic occurrs within the first few pages--Mack's youngest daughter is kidnapped and murdered while the family is out camping. Fast-forward a few years and the family is now in turmoil. Mack receives a note, presumably from God, telling him to go back to the shack where his daughter's bloody dress was found. When he arrives, he encounters a God like he's never witnessed or ever heard about. This is where I am right now. This book opens your eyes to all the endless possibilities about love and God's work. It is a must-read for sure!

An 80s girl at heart

2009-03-01T19:31:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, we had "Flashback Day" at school as part of our Courtwarming Spirit Week. Of course, once I learned what that meant, I immediately knew I had to go in some 80s gear. The kids loved it and couldn't believe that I used to wear stuff like that. Now that I see the picture of me, neither can I!!

I found this commentary online, and I thought it would be appropriate to re-post on here. No author's name was attached, so whoever you are, thanks for memories. (I did change one detail just to make it more suitable for me.)

"Children of the Eighties"

We are the children of the Eighties. We are the ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were just building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety scissors that never really cut.

We collected Garbage Pail Kids and Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little Ponies and Hot Wheels and He-Man action figures and thought She-Ra looked just a little bit like I would when I was a woman. Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were the way to go, and sidewalk chalk was all you needed to build a city. Imagination was the key. It made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for you to be Luke and the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to be a tent in the forest.

Your world was the backyard and it was all you needed. With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back up to you and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a glove like Michael Jackson's.

Today, we are the ones who sing along with Bruce Springsteen and The Bangles perfectly and have no idea why. We recite lines with the Ghostbusters and still look to The Goonies for a great adventure. We flip through T.V. stations and stop at The A Team and Knight Rider and Fame and laugh with The Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky Brewster and what you talkin' 'bout Willis? We hold strong affections for The Muppets and The Gummy Bears and why did they take the Smurfs off the air?

After school specials were only about cigarettes and step-families, the Pokka Dot Door was nothing like Barney, and aren't the Power Rangers just Voltron reincarnated? We are the ones who still read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, the [Sweet Valley High] Twins, Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume, Richard Scary and the Electric Company. Friendship bracelets were ties you couldn't break and friendship pins went on shoes - preferably hightop Velcro Reebox - and pegged jeans were in, as were Units belts and layered socks and jean jackets and jams and charm necklaces and side pony tails and just tails. Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with colored rubberbands made you cool.

The backdoor was always open and Mom served only red Kool-Aid to the neighborhood kids- never drank New Coke. Entertainment was cheap and lasted for hours. All you needed to be a princess was high heels and an apron; the Sit'n'Spin always made you dizzy but never made you stop; Pogoballs were dangerous weapons and Chinese Jump Ropes never failed to trip someone. In your Underoos you were Wonder Woman or Spider Man or R2D2 and in your treehouse you were king.

In the Eighties, nothing was wrong. Did you know the president was shot? Star Wars was not only a movie. Did you ever play in a bomb shelter? Did you see the Challenger explode or feed the homeless man? We forgot Vietnam and watched Tiananman's Square on CNN and bought pieces of the Berlin Wall at the store. AIDS was not the number one killer in the United States. We didn't start the fire, Billy Joel.

In the Eighties, we redefined the American Dream, and those years defined us. We are the generation in between strife and facing strife and not turning our backs. The Eighties may have made us idealistic, but it's that idealism that will push us and be passed on to our children - the first children of the twenty-first century. Never forget: We are the children of the Eighties.

Agape Love

2009-02-25T17:55:00.009-06:00

The day my Grandma was buried was one of the more beautiful days this winter. Since it took place down in Arkansas, the temperature was warmer than it probably would have been up here in KC, but there was something about that day that just made it seem all that more special. So many of us had worn long sleeves, pants, even a head scarf (Aunt Kay), but none of that was needed. I think the sun warmed us up to about 75 degrees and the wind came in strong from the south.

The church service was nice...nice is too vague of a word, but it was quaint and small. It was held inside a church I used to go to when I was a little girl when we'd go visit family down there in Palestine, Arkansas. The town itself is nothing really, but I will always remember that church. I remember singing a song about "agape love," stirring my imaginary pot of all the ingredients used to make agape love, or God's love found within us. I know my grandma was full of it, and she made sure she her cup runneth over as she rose to meet Him.

Family came whom I had not seen in years. In fact, most of the people there I had not seen since my 7th grade year. That was the last year I ever attended a family reunion. Few friends and family came to see my grandma for one last time, and boy, did she look great! Seeing her in the casket reminded me of the grandma I once knew so many years ago. Her skin was taut, showing not-so-many wrinkles, and her face actually had on makeup! I don't know that I ever remember my grandma wearing makeup unless we were going to church, so I guess that's a befitting way to look when she was walking through the Pearly Gates.

Probably the nicest part of the day was actually at the graveside service at Forrest Park Cemetary, located in Forrest City (pronounced FAR City for anyone from Arkansas). Of course, this is one of the only pictures I have of her children all together--sitting by the casket, heads knelt in prayer. As the preacher was saying a prayer, a gust of wind came in and blew through the tent! I just know that was grandma's way of saying, "Stop crying now. I'm in a much better place here than I was on earth. You'll see me again someday. I'll be here."

Once the graveside service was over, we all stood around talking, catching up with each other and what everyone had been up to since the last time we'd spoken. I asked Mom why Grandma was being buried way out in Forrest City when she had lived somewhere else for so long. She said it was because this area was really where she came from, her husband had been buried there, and she wanted to be buried close to my mom as well. HUH???? Apparently, it turns out that my own mother already has her tombstone picked out, planted, and even has her name already engraved on the darn thing! Now that was a little freaky to see for the first time. My brother wasn't so sure he even wanted to see it, but curiousity got the better of him, and he looked too. Mom said she didn't want us kids to worry about that trivial thing when her time came, so she had it made beforehand. Thanks...I guess...

She's gone...

2009-02-15T14:49:00.002-06:00

Grandma finally passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 90. She lived 30+ years beyond her beloved Guy, but now the two of them are reunited. Now she can give him all of her love from all of us!

Mom received a call yesterday from her brother, who said that it wouldn't be long now. Of course, Grandma had tricked them all before, but this time, it was real. Mom said that although she couldn't be in the room when her mother drew her last breath, she knows Grandma knew she was surrounded by love. (Mom did not want the last image of her mother to be of her dying, so she opted to stay out of the room. I don't blame her one bit--I would probably want to do the same thing.)

According to my uncle Allan, Grandma smiled twice before she let go of this world. I wonder what she was seeing when she let herself be taken away. Was she seeing Jesus? Those Heavenly Gates? I know she is no longer suffering, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I do plan on going down for the funeral on Wednesday. It's about a 7-8 hour drive, and that's the longest I will have driven by myself, but I am ready. Maybe a little solitude will do me some good...

Blond moment

2009-02-07T20:21:00.003-06:00

Okay, I just had to tattle on myself because this story is too funny to keep quiet, no matter how much I want to! Since the weather has been really nice the past two days, I decided to get my car washed for the first time in forever. On my way to the car wash, my windows were rolled down so I could get a breath of fresh air and blow my troubles away. I rolled up to the window, put in the kind of wash I wanted, then proceeded to the car wash tunnel. I rolled up my window, drove my tires over the line and put my car in neutral. Just as the car started to lurch forward, the "pre-wash" blast of water came spraying inside my car!!!! Apparently, I rolled up the driver-side window but failed to put up the passenger one. OOPS! Needless to say, I was screaming and laughing, and at the same time, trying to figure out how to get the window up! Once the car had been cleaned on the outside, I had to drive it over to the side parking area and clean up the inside! Now I can say that I've taken a shower at the car wash! Too bad I didn't have my camera!

Edited to add about grandma--she's still fighting to stay alive. The doctors have been saying for DAYS "she won't live through the night" and guess what? She's still here. Everyone is just amazed that she is still alive. The doctor even said that if she is alive on Monday, he's going to pull out the record book to see if she qualifies. This will make two full weeks that she has been off of all machines, no food, no water, nothing. Next week will be week three. Man! I just hope she is not suffering. I want her to go in peace.

Grandma

2009-02-04T19:11:00.003-06:00

For those who believe in the power of prayer, I have a request (of sorts). My grandmother, my Mom's mom, is very very very sick. While she's been ill for a while, physically, she's always been okay. Her mind began to slip a few years back, and last Christmas it was evident that she did not know who any of us were, even her own children. Well, now she is in a hospice facility basically waiting to die. Grandma contracted e.coli in her bladder a couple of weeks ago and that caused her entire body to shut down. She only has one kidney to begin with, and it was only functioning at 20%. The doctors have said there is absolutely nothing they can do. She hasn't had any nutrition in at least a week, and now the doctors have taken her off of everything but morphine to keep the pain subsided. All of her children are around her now, so this is my request. I know Grandma will not return to her normal self, and I know the best thing for her would be to pass away peacefully and without any more suffering. This is my prayer. Lord, take her away to you so she can join you in eternal life. Be with her in her time of passing. Please do not let her suffer any longer.

This is a picture I took of my Grandma last Christmas. In fact, it is only one of a few that I have her period. Maybe one day I can find pictures of her and create a keepsake album for my mom. I bet she'd like that...

randomness

2009-01-23T21:44:00.003-06:00

I just received my new Ipod in the mail today--I am sooooo excited! I bought it off of eBay a couple of weeks ago. I saved about...a hundred bucks compared to one at Walmart. It's lime green and holds way more than I need! I really wanted it for the gym--I'm tired of being so bored and not being able to hear anything but the sound of the machines. Maybe this will help pass the time and I won't think about being there as long. Now I've spent most of the evening transferring songs from my computer. I think I've put about 1000 songs on it, a pretty good mix of fast and mellow, with a few inbetween, from David Cook and Bon Jovi to Jack Johnson and Rascal Flatts.

Self-edits

2009-01-17T12:48:00.005-06:00

Edited to add (ironic, I know...): When I wrote what I wrote below, I was being honest, but the more I read it, the more "snarky" I thought I was sounding. That is not my intent at all. I just mean that I will use my blog to get my story across. I don't mean to harm anyone in the process--on the contrary.

I thought when I created this blog, I would be able to say what I wanted when I wanted. Now that it has come to my attention that these entries could be used for or against me, due to personal issues in my life, I will hold off telling the truth. Someone said that it was my version of the truth, and you know what? You're right. It is my version. It is my story that I want to tell.

PS. Sorry for so many background changes. My old one was deleted from the server, and now that the site is back up, I'm trying to find one that I like.

Holiday recap

2009-01-04T21:42:00.018-06:00

I know since I don't blog on a daily basis, some of mine can become LONG drawn out sagas, but I'll try to break this one up. I do actually have several things I want to discuss and most of it is NOT relationship crap!

1) Christmas at my Mom's house was really, really good. I was able to spend some time with my good friend Kodi and her little girl, Emmarie. We met for lunch at Chucky Cheese because that's where Emmarie wanted to go. I gave Kodi and Emmarie their gifts--Em's response to each one was so cute, "Ooohhh...thank you for the ____________. It's so cute!!!!!" (I had given her the set of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse plate, bowl, cup and placemat. She had no idea what the placemat was for.) She spent her tokens and racked up a bunch of tickets, which were then promptly exchanged for candy. What else is there when you are 3?

2) My brother and his wife, Terri, came up to spend Christmas with Mom as well. I never get to see them hardly, except for Christmas and maybe the 4th of July. I want them to come up to KC this summer (HINT...HINT...) and spend some time with me on vacation! I've got a pool...! Seeing my grandma also made me realize just how bad her condition has worsened over the years. I don't think she's ever been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but she definitely has a case of dementia. Last Christmas I didn't think she'd live to see this Christmas, but she's still alive and kickin'! I don't think she knew who any of us really were, but it was really good to see her again. And of course, Mom fixed enough food to feed the Infantry division even though it was just the 6 of us!

3) Santa brought me a ring for Christmas. It's a pearl setting with diamonds on either side. I wanted one to wear on my ring finger in place of my wedding set. I have to admit that it does look good--the pearl matches the ring my Dad and step-mom gave me two years ago. For Christmas, I also received some new clothes, 90210 DVD sets (I know...I know...but they make for good scrapbooking!), a couple of movies, and a cute zebra-striped bag that I'm actually using as a purse.

4) After Christmas, I came home on Saturday to meet Todd and his friend Jeff to see the Jeff Dunham show. Since Todd and I bought those tickets back in October and he is both of our favorite comedien/ventriloquist, neither one of us wanted to give up our ticket. The night worked out just fine. I genuinely felt like I was out with two friends, not a husband or boyfriend, etc. The show was FANTASTIC!!! The seats were further away than any of us wanted, but thank to the jumbo-tron, we were able to see everything. I was even pleasantly surprised by how the pictures turned out on the point-and-shoot camera. The best part of the show was at the very end during his encore. Jeff brought out Bubba J, his Nascar-watchin', beer-drinkin', good ol' Southern boy. He started out doing his standard jokes and about 3 minutes into it, the entire audience started saying the punchlines with him. I think we freaked him out. Jeff said this was definitely one of the weirdest shows he's done in a long time.

5) Following the show on Saturday, I had to wake up before dawn to catch my flight to Memphis to see Pat, my step-mom and that side of the family. I hadn't seen them since May or so when I went over for the drag races. Seeing her and especially my stepsister, Trisha, was very therapeutic for me. Trisha and I spent most of the days from about 1 in the afternoon until 11 or midnight shopping!! Kodi, I even got to visit Eclectica, the WOWSA scrapbook store there!!! It was heaven on earth. I spent WAY too much money there, especially considering I haven't really done much in the way of scrapping in a long time, but I figure I'll get back into the groove shortly when my life begins to calm back down. Now I know how a druggie feels when he gets his high. I was definitely feeling it when I walked into that store. Pat let me sleep in and once I woke up, I felt just like a little kid again. I'd climb into her bed and we'd watch "The Price is Right" or some cop show on TNT. We chatted about anything and everything. I do hope I get to see them again soon. Before Trisha took me back to the airport, she swung by Dad's grave so I could spend a little time with it before leaving. This was the first time since he passed away November 6th of 2007 that I had seen his grave with the headstone. It was one of those things that kind of caught me off-guard even though I knew he was there. This, though, made it truly sink in that that's where he was. I guess just seeing the stone for the first time made an impression. It was beautiful!

6) After New Year's some friends and I made our way back to Ernie Bigg's, a very happening place in Westport. This was my third time to go and it is just so much fun that I know I will go back again and again. We could look at Marcus play all day long...

This is my friend Jill who is also going through a really tough time in her relationship. She definitely needed this night to get away! We both did!

7) Now my life is back in the school and I am going back to the gym days a week. I would LOVE to be down 10 pounds by the end of January. We'll see!!

Happy New Year!!!!

2009-01-01T11:17:00.002-06:00

I just want to wish you all a very happy new year! I know this year will bring about change for all of us, not just me, so here's to a happy, healthy, and a brand new 2009! Cheers!

Short and Semi-sweet

2008-12-22T20:37:00.002-06:00

Those of you who know me know that I keep a Christmas scrapbook full of pages dating back from 1996, the first Christmas Todd and I were together as a dating couple. This was also my very first Christmas on my own, meaning I was out of the house and didn't have to ask Mom or Dad for money to buy Christmas presents. This year, 2008, may be a shortened Christmas scrapbook page in the book. Todd and his parents came over to the house tonight to spend "our" Christmas together. Since I am leaving tomorrow morning (weather-willing) to spend Christmas with my family down in Springfield, they wanted to come early to give me my gifts and so Todd could get his from Mom. Well, dinner was great thanks to a delicious cheesy potato soup that Todd's mom made. After dinner, we opened our gifts and that's where things became a little fuzzy. Of course, I did get Todd two small gifts because it was Christmas. He, in turn, did the same for me. Once the presents had been opened, we sat around and talked about anything just to make conversation move on. When it came time for them to leave, it was really awkward. I gave each of Todd's parents a hug and thanked them for their generous gifts--my fave? A new leather wallet with $100 inside! Thanks!!! Todd then leaned in to give me a hug as well. I hugged him back. What was I to say? No, I don't want to hug you? That's not me. I didn't mind the hug at all. Everyone needs to be hugged! Then he said, "I love you." I didn't know what to say in response to that. I just said bye as he was walking out the door. My heart and my head are definitely in conflict over this. My heart says that it no longer loves Todd like that because it's been hurt WAY too much to go back to that situation. My head, however, says two things--1) wouldn't life be so much easier and less painful with him back in it? and 2) we are no longer the same people from two months ago and it just wouldn't work. Who would you listen to? Even if I do listen to my head, it's giving me mixed signals! This is definitely not something I want to send to Todd either. Well, this turned out to be not as short as I originally planned, but oh well. I'm off to Springfield in the morning to visit with family and hopefully to make a stop at my old stomping grounds-Kickapoo High. Have a wonderful and very Merry Christmas!!!